Regret... Is that all I have...??

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Android 18
Member

since 2002-02-20

Posts 61
Austrailia (My DreamLand)

0 posted 2002-03-03 02:05 AM

Regret... Is that all I have...?

Lost in the rising and falling of the sea,
all I see is a reflection of myself and me.
As the moon brightly shines on tyself,
i place my heart upon the creaky shelf.
Lonely tears slide down my cheek,
flowing like a bubbling creek.
I think of my history and past life,
disecting it with a knife.
Is there anyway to take back those dear words I'd said,
re-playing like a movie, over in my head.
Regretting what I've done won't make it better,
my cheeks will only continue to get wetter.
Moving on is something I will do,
living with the thoughts of what I've been through.
Saying things I did not mean,
afterall I'm fifteen and quite nieve.
I'm not looking for people to blame,
regret and pain, it all feels the same.

-------------------------------
I wrote this one in math class, I wasn't quite sure if I should make it longer, but somehow it seems incomplete. I don't like how it ends, I think it needs another stanza, but I didn't know what to put. Any ideas??

~*~Serena~*~

"I'm not afraid of anything in this world,
there's nothing you can throw at me,
that I haven't already heard"

babygurl *
Junior Member

since 2001-12-07

Posts 30

1 posted 2002-03-03 04:26 AM

very emotional poem..
so i hear you are a good friend of alex's
hes a great person.. anywys keep at it... and again it was really good.. i dont think it needs another stanza, i think its kinda mysterious the way it ended!! very nice touch!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2002-03-03 04:45 PM

I really enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing it with us and I agree that you do not need another stanza, generally I feel that once you have written a poem and put your pen down then it's finished, the emotions are captured and no amount of additions or rewrites can capture the same raw feelings that you can get from a fresh thought or piece of inspiration. Either way if you decide to add something too it, it would be nice to read the addition

Andrew

See this through and leave my friend, the tears will come and I will end.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-03-03 09:51 PM

I knew math class was good for something...!! This was a great poem!!! Your words were very true!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2002-03-03 11:04 PM

Hmmm... It's all up to you if you want another stanza or not. A trick I've learned is to put the poem aside for a day or two, and then go back to it. That way you can read it from a fresh perspective. I think it's fine the way it is, but if you need help, just send me a mail, and I'll do the best I can. *hugs*

(<>..<>)

Fred says: "I want to kees you... I want to biiite you..."

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

5 posted 2002-03-04 04:42 PM

sorry that I can't help you on ending it, but it's still a great poem none the less. Great work!

Kristin

I'm not just A Princess, I'm THE Princess!!!!! ~*~I love Matt!~*~

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

6 posted 2002-03-04 07:53 PM

Haw, Serena...this was beautiful! I think it's just fine!

Are you okay? I'll call you soon...okay?

Others are too in love with the sound of their own voice to speak the truth...

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.