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Teen Poetry #5
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-07-14 11:54 PM


lying in wait
for what i don't know
the seconds pass by so slowly
but then they are gone, regretted
refusing to speak to you
because it's too easy to pretend
i'd rather be mute then fake this any longer
im tired
tired of all the hidden meanings
if you have something to say, say it
but then again i'm a hypocrite
i want you to tell me what's on your mind
yet i dont even tell you what's on mine
i want to talk to you, ask you so many things
yet i keep my mouth shut and just wait
maybe you'll see what i want, are you psychic?
but i'm waiting
for my knight in shinning armour i suppose
but really more then that
maybe it's you i wait for
i long just to be able to say 'hey'
maybe you'll see that it means more
that my simple hello is a question
a need for someone to understand
that all i am is me, nothing more
but then again, have i realilzed that?



“I am Gaudior
the shadow cast of valour
to cloak our vision
the remants of days long past
lay waking in the twilight"

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 07-15-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-07-15 12:37 PM


OKay- I can REALLY relate to this. I loved that! Great write- though the ending kinda got weaker or something- I don't know...I LOVED the first half though. Wonderful free-verse...Wonderful.  
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-07-15 01:55 AM


quite the emotional piece...i also can realte to this...you did a wonderful job on expressing this, Tiff

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-07-15 05:14 AM


Spice was right....the ending did kinda have less punch than the beginning, yet I did enjoy this one Tiff. I liked it very much.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-07-26 09:57 AM


Seems like I'm seeing less and less of your poems lately Tiff.  I've always been a fan of your work.  This poem only strengthens that feeling towards your writing.  hope to see you post more.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

5 posted 2001-07-26 12:07 PM


This was nice.  I liked the beginning better than the end, I guess I didnt understand it as well as everyone else.
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