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One Divine
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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One Divine |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA 
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Hey! This one I actually wrote almost a year ago with my friend, Emily. It's a song... I know it's quite long, so if you have any tips on making it shorter, please let me know! Anyhow, let me know what you think of it! ONE DIVINE (Emily) Life's precious memories come in so many ways Mine came in sandals On that warm summer day I saw him for the first time In what seemed like years But somehow I felt like I had nothing to fear He took my hand And along came my heart From that moment on Our hearts would not part Growing up together This is the one devine From that moment on Our hearts were never apart Our hearts are united Our hearts are the same Our love is divine Our love is not a game (Cody) Life's precious memories Come in so many ways Mine came with candles On our wedding day I saw her in a new light And I had nothing but tears But somehow it felt like I had nothing to fear This is our life together We have so much to do we're so great for eachother Who could've knew? She had taken my hand And along came my heart From then 'till forever Our hearts will never part Growing up together This is the one divine This love is all yours This love is all mine (Both) Our hearts are separate Our hearts are the same Our love is divine Our love's not a game (Emily) Life's precious memories Come in so many ways We buried his body On this cold winter day I am so lonely Don't know what to do I need somebody But I don't know who (Both) Growing up together This was the one divine The love was all yours The love was all mine Our hearts are separate Our hearts are the same Our love was divine Our love wasn't a game (Emily) Life's precious memories Come in so many ways I lay flowers down for you On this warm day in May I think of how much I still do love you And I know in my heart That you love me too (Both) We grew up together Our love was always divine The love was always yours The love was always mine Our hearts will be united Our hearts have always been the same Our love has been divine We'll be together in Heaven's name [This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (edited 07-12-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
i don't know quite how you could make it shorter.. but i really liked it. nice job |
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destiny502 Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 57OH |
why shorten it? its nice just how it is. i personally like long songs  Love can sometimes be like magic, but magic can sometimes..just be illusion |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
...i liked it and it looks fine as it is...i think you should leave it...beautiful job, Cody  ...enjoyed the read.im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Touch it and die, Cody! I like it just the way it is! Wonderful song. You and Emily did a wonderful job. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really thought this rocked Cody. Also I'd like to point out that as a song writer you should know that you can write all sorts of songs. Some of the best songs have lyrics, chorus, lyrics, chorusx3, lyrics from the first one, chorusx8. = BOOM hit song! I mean it can be so simple. To shorten out this song like you asked: You could take certain parts of emily's and certain from you and mesh them TOGETHER and rid of the unnecessary stuff. Remember that a song must have something catchy......something that stays in yer head. A lot of the time it's the chorus that is repeated 3 or 4 times throughout a song. So a chorus does a take a LOT of time from a song. Most songs are around 3mins long or so. Your song that I just read would be like 6 minutes if it's slow.....2:14 if it's a fast punk song haha. It's all about your style, and the music to accompany it. A song isn't a song without music.....if it's just words then all you got are lost lyrics waiting to be used. Do yer thing Cody..oh and dude, you know I love you right?   I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
after much consideration and debate, I have come to a conclusion. don't shorten it. it's fine the way it is. unless of course you see something that you don't feel needs to be said. or if you see something that can be changed to better fit...yeah. well, it's still great though. I do'nt mind the length (oh, and are you happy? I finally replied!!!  I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden. |
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Mykels_Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38australia |
this is really good keep up the good work! |
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