Teen Poetry #5 |
Unknow Life |
Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
I know, nothing. I feel, scared. Hurt,Lost Abandoned. I speak, love. I hear, hate. Loud, painful, dark. I breathe, death. I touch, confusion. Cold, quiet, alone. I smell, lies. I bleed, truth. Calm, warm, bright. I dream, wishes. I scream, quietly. Sincere, dull, unmoving. I wish, tears. I love, you. Cheerful, caring, me. This is kinda different, its my first one like this-Be gentle thanks for reading! "Like, yeah."-the famous cheerleaders |
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© Copyright 2001 Amèe - All Rights Reserved | |||
chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
i liked it a lot, it was good, every word fits into place and the flow was smooth. |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
thanks...my friend told me it just has something a little catchy about it...maybe its the flow.. "I wanna be bad"-willa ford |
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destiny502 Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 57OH |
I really like poetry like this..its my favorite kind to read. the one word emotions and all that..its cool. you should write more like it Love can sometimes be like magic, but magic can sometimes..just be illusion |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...i loved this piece ...written very well...awesome job!...the ending, the format choice of words, the feelings everything was just wonderful! im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree with your friend...it does have a lil something catchy to it. I like it. It's one of my more favorite of the recent posts of yours. Good job. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I really liked this one. The form was interesting, but it gave the poem a wonderful effect. Great job! *Amanda* |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
thanks guys "I wanna be bad"-willa ford |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I didn't particularly like the format here. But I liked the content, nicely done there. Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to seeing more from you. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the format actually gave it a punch. The material was just fine too. Overall I liked the poem. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The way you started out was really good. It was dark and unhappy and you had me. Then you went happy and lost me. The format is unique and pretty creative so you get points for that. Thanks for the read, Alyssa. ~AF~ Tearless grief bleeds inwardly. |
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