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Teen Poetry #5
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chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma

0 posted 2001-07-11 11:30 PM


i don't know much anymore,
it's all gone,
what i thought i had control of,
turns out to be wrong,
for how long,
i don't know,
but to many people,
told me" I told you so,"
funny,
all their laughs and mockery,
it's really helping me,
yea,
you know it,
they know it,
if not,
then why won't they stop?
they come in flock,
like sheeps,
baa baa baa,
what the BLEEP,
i wonder what they are thinking,
do they think they're helping me,
sure,
yes indeed,
it's not their fault i can't succeed,
a little help is all i need,
one hand at a time PLEASE,
but why oh why,
why should i try,
what'll end up happening,
everyone will soon realize,
that when dealing with me,
failure likes to keep me company.

© Copyright 2001 chas - All Rights Reserved
JBaker515
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
1 posted 2001-07-11 11:45 PM


chas..
this was really cool
i liked it a lot!!!
great job kid

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-07-12 02:14 AM


so much bitterness...the poem was quite powerful with strong emotions...i liked how youw rote this one...enjoyed

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
3 posted 2001-07-12 03:38 AM


Chas! I'm really impressed.
Such a GREAT ending.
I LOVED that last line.
Wonderful write!  

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-07-12 03:46 AM


Great job here. I really liked how you wrote this one. I loved the ending. VEry good job.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-07-24 08:24 PM


WHy do you think that way.
Try looking in the brighter side of things
And don't even mind what other people say
Thanks for sharing my friend
hope things get better

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

DarkenedShadow
Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114
Kansas
6 posted 2001-07-24 10:46 PM


One of the many pains I know all too well, this write spells you and thats important and excellent. It does seem to be trouble some in words though as in the pain of lacking self respect or for a lack of a better word, beleif in yourself. I bonded to this one thanks.... /Nick/
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