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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-07-11 11:09 PM

No Title Found

Do we care for submersion
     into a deep blue...

waterless place             who can take you away?
        from a life you recall
                                     suckshorrible
                                     everyonehates
                                     me
threads in the eye of blood freeing needle
weaves itself into a journal of lettersnumberswords
                            who can lift you up?

Broken heart#1
              2
               3
                  you can trail off so easily
                           who dug you into this hole?
i found a shovel in the closet
                     next to the skeletons...

  "I pledge...
my taxation
                          who can be your salvation?
in his image creation
                          as opposed to ladybugs?
Kiss mother earth
                          your lips will freeze

among all of this you remain central in the idea
outside the :categories
No title found
no title needed
for a reiteration
of the truth that

God has no time for you
               settle for me
-------------------
Something about this feels halfbaked.  What do you happy folks out there think?

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-07-12 02:27 AM

your format to me...worked out nicely...i enjoyed the poem

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-07-12 03:25 AM

Sean, I loved this.
I'm becoming fond of your work.
The format rocked.
I ecspecially liked the brokenheart part.
More I say!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-07-12 03:55 AM

Brilliant ending!!! Brilliant!!! I liked how I thought the title meant you couldn't figure out a title for the poem but then a surprise comes.....that is the title haha. I loved it. The ending is brilliant. The poem itself had a superb format. Nicely done here! I loved it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-07-24 08:28 PM

You way with words improved everytime
I too am amazed by you last lines
very strong stuff
keep em coming

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

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