navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Her Smile
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Her Smile Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream

0 posted 2001-07-11 02:54 PM


*I found this poem when I was going through some old papers, this is a really old one by me.*

Her Smile

My heart is captured
captured by pure beauty
from the one I love

Her smile warms my heart
my heart warms my soul
and from that warmth
it makes me whole

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."
~Steven Wright

© Copyright 2001 Aaron B. - All Rights Reserved
Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

1 posted 2001-07-11 03:00 PM


This was a wondeful poem, even if it was old.  I noticed in the last stanza how the flow was a bit off, but it was not bad.

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan
2 posted 2001-07-11 04:46 PM


I think ole stuff can often be the best stuff you know what I mean anyways I liked the poem it flowed well.  

we fall like the stars then rise like the sun..Repentence.Forgiveness.We are blame worthy hold us to our wrongs..but don't hold our wrongs against us

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-07-11 06:48 PM


Sweet poem here....oh and LowMan...I hate you for doing that trick on me haha.

Once again, good poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
4 posted 2001-07-12 12:34 PM


Lol, I can't stop laughing about it. Sorry if I really freaked you out.

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."
~Steven Wright

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-07-12 02:24 AM


i REALLY liked this poem LML...just beautiful...short but sweet...loved the read

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-07-23 09:07 PM


Good read.  Short but really sweet.  keep it up.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2001-07-23 09:22 PM



Low Man's Lyric-
   Very sweet write...enjoyed..

   *smiles*,
   ~vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



DarkenedShadow
Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114
Kansas
8 posted 2001-07-23 10:06 PM


Sometimes the shortest words are the best one's to express on this subjct alone. GOOD JOB!!! /Nick/
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
9 posted 2001-08-12 01:54 AM


this is really really sweet!!!..i cant point out what i like most about it cuz i love all of it....just makes me go green again...short and sweet...im fast becoming a fan..

period pain is HELL!

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
10 posted 2001-08-12 12:18 PM


Very sweet write, Aaron!  Aargh.. how did I miss this one?  I enjoyed the poem.  Very beautiful in it's simplicity.
Nice work!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Kicking Kim
Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
11 posted 2001-08-13 06:04 PM


Hey this poem was really emotion packed and very sweet.  I'm sure those lines mean a lot to some special girl of yours!  

^*~Kicking Kim~*^  

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Her Smile

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary