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Emotions Fade
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Emotions Fade |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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Emotions Fade: I love you still. Sand paper heart. My soul you fill. Stone wall of love. The truth you say. Blood clots run dry. Emotions clay, Yet still you shove. I trust you still. A cold oak tree. You grant my will. Old dusty sight. The love you say. All night I cry. Emotions stay. I've lost my light.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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n e where Junior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 32Australia |
aww..this is beautiful  loved ittake care ~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
*Hugs you tight* Hura!!!! You're posting again!!! *Twirls* I love this, Javi. It's short, but filled with emotion and feeling. You know you're my favorite poet. I love reading everything of yours. You're a brilliant writer. I'm so glad you posted. Anyway- I'm too tired to give a long, drawn out reply... I'll come back and reply again when I'm a bit more awake. |
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Hill's_Chatabox Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 46USA |
That was a great poem, I love how you decribe your feelings, I can agree with you and yet I feel for you.... Your writing was a great one Keep it up!!!! and if you ever need anyone to talk to I am hear.. just incase. By the way thankyou so much for the card I really liked it. It meant a lot believe it or not.... ~*Hillary*~ ~*reach for higher limits, for you the higher you go the better it will get.... |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
jave... i loved this style, you did a great job |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
this is really good, i really liked it. great job |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
This was awesome. i totally loved it. great work It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
wow javi. i loved this. nice to see u postin hun. great job and cant wait for more. tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
DOPEY, that was sooooooo awesome! I mean it! That touched me deeply b/c I can relate to the feelings in it! Can't wait to read more! I love you! Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Awesome work Dopey, It was beautiful. "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice work Javier! I'm still looking at this one, trying to decipher the exact meaning of it. It's been quite some time since I've had to do that with a poem, and I think the last one I did was one of yours as well. I always enjoy your poetry because there are deeper undertones to the entire work, every time. Now in here I'm going to applaud you on the scheme of rhyme first and foremost, as well as the simple short-line formatting as far as syllables are concerned. It flowed very well in this sense, not a difficult read and that is important in intriguing the mind. So far what I'm getting is that it's about your personal feelings regarding a lost love, or your emotions towards the situation. Obviously something to do with the human need for emotion, and also the hindrance emotion poses for humans. It has my curiousity sparked and I'll look at it a bit longer yet, trying to figure it out. Kudos. ~Allan Blood Moon |
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angel_2401 Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131Cincinnati, OH |
This is so great! I'm glad you started posting, now I get to read it! I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
*hugs* it's great hearin from you again hun. after your explanation, this makes perfect sense. I like it however confusing it was at first. the second stanza is the best one to me, as I've been in a situation like that, and I know how it feels. however, it confused me the most when you brought in the cold oak tree...but I get that now. and you've lost your light...does this mean you feel you lost the love from this person? I was meaning to ask you that. all in all, this is a great piece Javi, and someday, you are gonna have to teach me to write as wonderfully as you do.  ~Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.~ I LOVE ZU *hugs Javi* HEY ALBIE!!!! HI CODY! [This message has been edited by stace_co2003 (edited 07-11-2001).] |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
wow, all these long replies. Groovy format, i loved it to death. You got "it" here. Good job on another awesome poem. "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I love you still. Sand paper heart. My soul you fill." Dopey this is so good my friend |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
As spectacular as I always remembered!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
This is about me, isnt' it, Dopes? lol No, but really, I liked this one. I know how this feels... Anyway, thought this one was good, as all of yours are. - Cody - |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*sniff, sniff* Seriously, that made me (almost) cry! That is so sad and sweet and filled with emotion and it's so great you're posting again (you ARE posting again, aren't you?)! Hugs to you, Javi! Rhonda "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Okay, Hi! I'm back. Yet STIll at a horrible hour, but oh well...I'm here for my more in-depth reply. So I've read this and re-read this and finally I asked for some help. Thanks for clearing those lines up for me. It all makes sense now. The poem, itself, I'm loving. The flow was wonderful. It was short- but it didn't leave me wondering or empty. As for the situation in the poem- I think you know my views. You have a wonderful talent, Javier. You put your thoughts and feelings into words wonderfully. I love the sand paper heart line and the last 2 lines of the 1st stanza....Oh who am I kidding- I loved the whole thing. It was great. I'm really glad to see you posting again. Anyway, Yea. So there's my promised more in-depth look at it. Thanks again for the help. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...javier your expression was amazing in this one...very obscure yet...quite deep...i love dthis piece...very thought-proking as well..how you discribed so on esp...the sand paper heart..awesome...last lines hit me hard!...and glad to see your poems again! im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Javier~ As usual your poems challenge me to think. I like that about you. I hope that you keep postin. I know I really enjoy reading them. Wonderful poem and I understand your feeling. Thanx for sharing! Chez *that what does not kill us makes us stronger!* |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Beautiful poem...I enjoyed it alot. I can relate to words and have felt like that before...cant wait for your next post... Always, ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Alright, well some of you have asked for an explanation for this poem. I privately gave one to stacy and Spice....so here you all go. Emotions Fade: (the title should pretty much point out the basics of the poem. Somebody's emotions are faded, but who's?  )This poem is directed to my former Ex-girlfriend. We are now back together. The format is weird. The ryhme scheme is one that I had never used before but really loved. I've never been inspired to write in that sheme ever again, as most of my poems are wingers and I plop it out on paper real quick, so this is the only poem like this. If you look at the 1st and 5th verse of the first and second stanza..they reverse into themselves. I liked that hehe. (this was after she left me for the second time) In the first stanza, every other line is about her, pretty much. In the second it's not like that, but it does start off like that. Kind of like a me/her comparison. I I love you still.- me tellin her i love her even though she left me. Sand paper heart.- Her heart is rough My soul you fill.- she still completes me Stone wall of love.- Yet her love is surrounded by a stone wall. UNbreakable and unpenetrable by me. The truth you say.- Her "truth" of which she speaks. Blood clots run dry.- Her blood which represents feeling has clotted and run dry. So it's stopped. Emotions clay,- my emotions have turned soft due to all the abuse. Ready to mold into what she wants. Yet still you shove.- But even then she shoves me aside. II I trust you still.- I still trust her A cold oak tree.- An Oak tree is usually alive for a long time....strong ans sturdy...well this oak tree (symbolizing her) is COLD. Forever strong and cold against me. You grant my will.- (the rest of the verses are all about me) She still grants my will to keep on going even though I don't have her. My love at the time was too strong to vanish. Old dusty sight.- This is describing ME. My sight has turned old, and dusty. Something we know as "Blind Love". The love you say.- The love she speaks of....which she really didn't.. All night I cry.- Pretty obvious...me sad. Emotions stay.- My emotions stay for her no matter what I went through. I've lost my light.- I've lost my light for seeing....my sight is old....no way to find her for she WAS the light. SO in conclusion this whole poem is mainly about me loosing the woman I loved and how that no matter what she did to me....even dump me, I still loved her while the feeling laid unreciprocated. So who's emotions faded? Hers.... Thanks for reading. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 07-12-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
ahh thanks for the explain. |
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5_sweet_kisses Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 49 |
nice poem, keep up the good work |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
You and your 25 reply poems.   I didn't enjoy this one as much as your others. Although the emotion was there, it seemed to lack real Javi power. Thanks for the read all the same. ~AF~ GREMLINS ARE TRYING TO STEAL MY PANTS!!!!!!! *sobs* |
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Crash&Burn Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 119 |
I liked it dope, it portrayed an image of you staring at the moon crying and sad... a very vivid image. It's sad man, don't post like that your a happy fellow post something joyfull, lol. anyways I liked it keep posting my friend.  I see the darkness coming all is bleak... |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was really good work Javier. POwerful imagery, and hard impact. well keep writing/ Regina |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Javi... wow... This one is probably one of the best I've ever read in the forums. This poem hit home harder than any other ever has. The explanation cleared LOTS up, and after I read what you put, I went back and read the poem again.... and again.... and again. WONDERFUL work. The emotions throughout the whole poem is absolutely amazing. I'm very happy for you that you two are back together. Good news. I just wish I can be that lucky. Excellent job. I can't tell you how much I liked this poem. The rhyme scheme was fantastic, as well. Everything about this was awesome.. I can't say enough. I'd be crazy not to put it in my library. Wonderful work, Javi. Simply outstanding.--Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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pure_innocence Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 80Colorado, US |
I'm new here so from reading your replys I gather that I should definitly look into some of your previous works! I liked this one very much though. It's a different style from what I'm used to but it's unique, I liked it. |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
wow...this poem hit me with a WOW! and then the explaination was just made the poem stand out even more. great job. *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Javi!! One word: FANTASTIC Short, amazing, and lovely. Such good feelings went into this, you captured a whole new look at love with this one. I loved it!! Keep it up u nut!! Glad to see you and ur woman are happy now Till next time, yours truly,  ~Jeff~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really appreciate all the comments. I really love to hear that you all liked it. Don't think that I have overlooked any of your replies to my poems because I do not personalize a thank you.....HOWEVER I always personalize to the reply who DIDN'T like my poem haha.....Liz, thank you for the honesty in your reply. Always good to hear such POSITIVE negative feedback. Javi power? haha, I shall do my best next time I write for myself and none other....In my eyes this poem.....well this is one of the few I am most pleased with. I thank all the praise, and above all, the constructive critism and people saying they disliked it (thanks Liz). Like Pharon said to Fozzy, "I love those who think out of the box"......so i'm saying that to all of you.... Think out of the box! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I believe the poem was very self explanatory. Great to see you posting again Javier. You're one talented writer. Keep it up. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Dopey, as always I really enjoyed it. I can totally relate to the feeling of this poem. When you love someone so much, it's hard to let go and lose that love, no matter what they do. Very cool poem. It was good to see something from you. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i think ive seen this one before ...but i cant remeber what iwrote for it...but you know i like youre work..so wekll done on this one.. |
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