Teen Poetry #5 |
Local GIRL |
Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
She's a local girl with a local heart, made me fall in love with, her right from the start. She's a local girl she made me go blind, everything about her, has no reasons to lie. She's a local girl from just down the street, she just totally knock, me down of my feed. She's a local girl a little bit shy, but still she is playing, games with all the guys. She's a local girl she's a beauty queen, more so than the girls in the magazines. She's a local girl with a personality, like nobody else she, knock me of my feed. She's a local girl with a local heart, made me fall in love with, her right from the start. she's a local girl she's a local girl she's a local girl she's a local girl |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
I really liked the poem it remind me of uptown girl lol sorry but I really liked it alot I thought it flowed well but one question is it supposed to be she knocked you off your feet or is feed what you wanted to put? anyways nice write later I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I liked this piece, thought it was very well written. - Cody - |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I liked it, but the end kinda annoyed me. Dont take that personally, but the repitition just was overdone. *Amanda* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this one a lot! I loved the "local" thing you got going here. Well done! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked the poem..enjoyed the read im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
nice one here...thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Alexia
since 2001-06-07
Posts 164Sweet And Sassy |
Yeah I agree it did kinda sound like that song *uptown girl* lol .. I liked your poem! it wuz good! Alexia If I tell you I love you, Can I keep you? |
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