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Teen Poetry #5
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you danced right into my heart
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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you danced right into my heart |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
Every part of me felt you so close, The sense of your perfume Made you so irresistible. The lights made you more the fine, Could feel your body heat The moment I saw your smile. The way you moved caught my eye, I can’t hide it I can’t deny it You really turned me on Your lips there just so You danced right into my heart. While you danced you gave me a smile, It couldn’t be possible You looked right into my eyes. Something about you that made me stop Something about you That made me give myself up. The way you moved caught my eye, I can’t hide it I can’t deny it You really turned me on Your lips there just so You danced right into my heart. Caught my eye Can’t deny it Turned me on Lips just so You danced right Into my heart Caught my eye Can’t deny it Turned me on Lips just so You danced right Into my heart The way you moved caught my eye, I can’t hide it I can’t deny it You really turned me on Your lips there just so You danced right into my heart. The way you moved caught my eye, I can’t hide it I can’t deny it You really turned me on Your lips there just so You danced right into my heart. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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TunaKaHuna Junior Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 19United States |
The way you wrote this poem, reminded me of a song. The way how you expressed your thoughts came out in the way that I could see it sung. Maybe not as poetic, but could be a romantic ballad. I hope you have someone this special to you, it would be worth so much. If you give a person a title, then you really dont have to know them...but, they may just be the person who can make you see how happy life can be. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I REALLY liked this one! If you didn't write it to be a song, it would make an awesome song. I couldn't help but start singing it out loud as I was reading it. good job here. - Cody - |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
NIcely done here. Another great song.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job on the song...i liked it...and its a nice feelings to have eh?  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-10-2001).] |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i have to tell you that im really jealous of of your ability to write songs ( that actually make sense)..i love this..another library piece from you.. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I've never written a song before, doubt I could *sigh*.....I LOVE this and it goes to my library [This message has been edited by SEA (edited 07-10-2001).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I loved it, I thought it was a bit long but still enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
Music in song huh? not that I'm saying thats bad, its really interesting but could add some length. Reminded me of a girl I knew to but thats a different story.... /Nick/ |
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