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Teen Poetry #5
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TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

0 posted 2001-07-07 05:57 PM



I looked at the water
and the reflection I saw
was one filled with pain
born from a wound raw.
They say time does heel
as it goes by
but this reflection I saw
told me that's a lie!
I too would feel
time has betrayed me
if I covered my wounds
with a :"That doesn't hurt me."

I looked at the reflection
and it back at me,
pain needs to be faced
before you can be free.

So this one was written quickly, and I know there's a few oopsy's...pointers will help

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

© Copyright 2001 TearsOfPearls - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-07-07 11:32 PM


the message was a clear and true one...i liked the poem ...this was well written.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
2 posted 2001-07-08 03:02 AM


Very nice poem keep up the great work!
  Lauren

Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64

3 posted 2001-07-08 03:11 AM


I liked this a lot. the only thing that could be fixed would be the spelling of heal.
nice job!

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-07-09 12:32 PM


I liked this one....nice message here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

5 posted 2001-07-09 03:58 PM


The flow seemed a little off from me, but other than that, it was fine. Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-07-15 07:47 PM


You have covered it well.  I never thought anyone would bring it up.  You are very right.  You have to face it to be able to rid of it.  Awesome.  *applauds*

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

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