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Jessica
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since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL

0 posted 2001-07-07 01:03 AM


Here lately I have been going through a strong writter's block...*sigh*... This is what I came up with tonight. It isn't my strongest work but please tell me what you think and give me suggestions. I need to get back in the flow of writting.

11:57 PM 7/6/01

desperate cries unheard
through the mask I hold to my heart
not a single word
to finish what I start

emotions blocked behind my soul
seeming eternity so long
I've fallen in this deep hole
singing my own song

my lies becoming my truth
my heart reaching out to you
where is my youth...
what shall I do?

What don't kill you can only make you stronger...

© Copyright 2001 Jessica Langford - All Rights Reserved
CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
1 posted 2001-07-07 01:20 AM


I really liked this.  This is totally awesome, especially for just coming out of writers block.  Keep up the good work.

      - Cody -

If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2001-07-07 02:51 AM


i liked this jess...alot. think u did a great job on it. cant wait to c more of ur work. wut part of Al u from btw? :p
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

Jessica
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South AL
3 posted 2001-07-07 02:55 AM


I am from this itty, bitty, teenie weenie, smal town called Brewton. Like the biggest thing we have is a Wal-Mart. And it's the "major hang-out" ... I am originally from Auburn AL, though.  

[This message has been edited by Jessica (edited 07-07-2001).]

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-07 02:36 PM


i liked it...your expression was interesting in this one...great job!..jess#2.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Heavens Tears
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Posts 677

5 posted 2001-07-07 03:16 PM


This was a great poem.  The flow was broken in some places, but it still sounded great!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
6 posted 2001-07-07 10:21 PM


Not my favorite from you...But All the same, it's still a very well written poem. Nice job.
Jessica
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since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
7 posted 2001-07-07 11:23 PM


Quick question... Where was the flow broken? So I can fix it...
Kicking Kim
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since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
8 posted 2001-07-08 11:24 AM


I thin this is the first I have read of yours and so far its pretty good.  Keep writing!!
              

^*~Kicking Kim~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-07-09 12:50 PM


Well done here Jessica. I liked this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Maynard
Junior Member
since 2001-06-29
Posts 12
IL
10 posted 2001-07-09 01:09 AM


pretty damn good for writers block  

"I have nothing to tell you or sell you for the moment... but thank you for asking."

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-07-14 12:23 PM


Where is the writer's block is the question.
you express yourself really well with your poems
You should keep writing
Thanks for sharing Jessica

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
12 posted 2001-07-14 04:02 AM


Wow I wish I could write like this when I had writers block.  This is really good and I thought you did an excellent job.
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

branden726
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since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
13 posted 2001-07-14 10:14 AM


What a writers block, ya know i love to read poems but when i read ones like this it makes me think cuz i used to write like this once and in my head i felt like i was dead but in my mind i felt fine this was a wonderful poem and im just leting you know what i think...
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
14 posted 2001-07-15 03:28 AM


You might want to count the number of syllables in your lines. That way if you feel the flow is broken, you can go back to the line and fix it up.
It's a good piece but the ending is a little weak.
Thanks for the read.  

~AF~

Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me...

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
15 posted 2001-07-16 02:59 AM


This is well done, Jess.  I really liked the emotions throughout this piece... it seemed like a big call for help to me.  While I was reading this, I was listening to Linkin Park's Crawling, and it was awesome with that.  I really enjoyed this.  Nice work!

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

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