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Teen Poetry #5
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HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

0 posted 2001-07-05 11:47 PM



Thank god I found you,
You always make me smile,
Whenever life gets me down,
It's your phone number I dial.

Thank god I found you,
Your always here for me,
I can tell you anything,
My point you always see.

Thank god I found you,
You treat me like I'm the best,
You tell me I'm beautiful,
And I'm better than the rest.

Thank god I found you,
My prayer has finally come true,
I asked god for the nicest guy,
And to me, god sent you.

Thank god I found you,
To hold me in the rain,
To sheild my heart from daggers,
And to ease all of my pain.

Thank god I found you,
I'll never let you go,
In my heart is where you'll stay,
And my love for you I'll show.


Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms, and open eyes ~Incubus~

© Copyright 2001 Ashley - All Rights Reserved
Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
1 posted 2001-07-05 11:51 PM


This is a very good poem.  It had a really nice flow to it, and a well written rhyme scheme as well.  Very sweet words you say here   I'm happy that you found that special person.  Good luck in the future with him.  The only critique I have for this poem is every time you use the work God, capitalize the "G".
Nice work.  I hope to see more soon.  

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
2 posted 2001-07-06 01:40 AM


"Thank god I found you,
To hold me in the rain,
To sheild my heart from daggers,
And to ease all of my pain."

^
|My favorite lines. hehe.
|

The rhyming was great- it made the poem flow very nicely. Such a sweet poem. I'm glad you found that special someone.  

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-07-06 01:43 AM


beautiful...and this was a nice poem...i liked it.

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-06-2001).]

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
4 posted 2001-07-06 06:06 PM


Lovely poem I really loved it and I hope to read more of  your peoms soon.Keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
5 posted 2001-07-06 06:52 PM


This was wonderful!!  Sounds like this guy is a winner   keep him close to you and don't let him go! if you do i might have to visit him... he sounds so perfect! jk   you can have him... i got mine LOL

Valerie

"...And i want to take you down, but your soul could not be found, doesn't matter much you see cause your disease is killing me..." -Saliva

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
6 posted 2001-07-07 01:25 AM


Wow!  I really liked this one!  I can totally relate to this, except that I am a guy.  I have a friend that has been there for me always.  I definitely know how it feels to find that special person that is always there for you, very well written!  This is one of my favorites, it's going to my library.

      - Cody -

If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

[This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (edited 07-07-2001).]

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-07-08 02:25 AM


Very nice poem here I am enjoying your work. Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
8 posted 2001-07-08 02:15 PM


This was great. i loved it.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-07-12 09:59 PM


This is totally sweet.  He must be really special.  I loved the read.  Thanks for sharing.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

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