navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Inside My Little Crate
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Inside My Little Crate Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

0 posted 2001-07-04 11:07 PM



Swimming im my pool of sadness,
Climbing the walls of hate.
I am all alone now,
Inside my little crate.

The only voice I hear,
Is that of my own.
Am I stuck here forever?
Is this my brand new home?

With thoughts swirling around me,
Blowing in my ears.
I realize you've left me,
And my eyes begin to tear.

Am I an awful person?
Do I deserve to die?
With these thoughts inside my head,
I slowly start to cry.

I want you in my life,
More than you'll ever know.
But without you inside my heart,
My feelings will not grow.

Swimming in my pool of sadness,
Climbing the walls of hate.
I am all alone now,
Inside my little crate.


Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms, and open eyes ~Incubus~

© Copyright 2001 Ashley - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-07-04 11:40 PM


Great write Ashley.
I loved the way you used the same stanza at the beginning and end of the poem- Very nice touch. I'm sorry you're sad. Hope things get better.   Keep em coming.

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-07-05 11:14 AM


No, you don't deserve to die.  Wow.. lots of heart break around here recently.. I really liked this, and the way you repeated the last stanza was a very nice finish.  The whole poem flowed very well, and the rhyme shceme was well done.  *hugs* I hope you feel better.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

zarina
Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180

3 posted 2001-07-05 11:17 AM


you're a good writer. I could relate to this one. well written!
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-06 02:28 AM


i liked this poem alot...very powerful emotions...stay strong as your not the only one that feels like this

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
5 posted 2001-07-06 03:06 AM


Great poem keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-07-08 02:06 AM


Well done here. You did well on this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-07-12 07:07 PM


Ashley, this is really sad.  Hope things are better for you now.  I'm always here to talk to ya know.  Thanks for sharing

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
8 posted 2001-07-12 11:33 PM


Don't be sad   you're not allowed!! Great write, and I truly hope that you can find your way out of your little crate.

Rhonda

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
9 posted 2001-10-09 01:26 AM


hey ashley,
i just wanted to add this to my library.
i thought it was great and i enjoyed reading it alot. keep up the great work. *hugs*
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Inside My Little Crate

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary