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Caged
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Caged |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Nothing can break this icy exterior, regardless of lost love I am superior. I can breathe again in another dimension and hear his sweet words without the tension. ^*~*^ He said we'd be together forever, and I was naive enough to KNOW it wasn't a lie. ^*~*^ Everything melts this liquid interior, the pain has spread over a larger area. relighting the flame with repeated ignition trying to break free from this bleeding condition. "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kimberley Mason - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The part in the middle really threw me off. It was totally unexpected. The rhyme scheme you used was pretty well done. However some parts were out. I really can't be bothered explaining where at the moment but someone else is bound to. You've got the juices flowing in my head with this piece. Thanks for that.  Well done. ~AF~ Never speak disrespectfully of Society. Only people who can't get into it do that. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Really good, I enjoyed it alot and I am putting it in my library. Its powerful, superbly done keep it up. Until your next poem -- Linc "Blood Moon" |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Nice poem, first ive read of yours and so far i like what im seeing. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Wonderful Write Kim! You expressed yoruself well. Keep posting.  |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was very good Kim. I liked the format. Veyr intersting poem If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I loved the middle stanza. I thought it was a very nice addition. Good work with this poem! The third stanza was my favorite. The emotions throughout this whole piece is awesome. The rhyme scheme was well done as well... nice work with this piece. Enjoyed, as always. Hope to see more --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the last stanza was also my fav...i liked this poem alot...but the middle definitly was unexpected ...emotions protrayed through your writing was awesome!im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Sorry if I threw any of you off track in the middle part. It just explains how when you are naive you believe whatever you want to believe - as I said "naive enough to KNOW it wasn't a lie" I meant that I was that young and taken in by the situation that I knew in my mind that it wasn't a lie, however I later discovered I had been wrong. Hope this makes it slightly clearer. Thanks for the replies!!  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Your explanation aided me to better understand the poem. The middle stanza does tend to throw people off on your exact meaning of the whole poem, but I liked it. I guess I viewed it as some tricky piece. Very well done here. You express yourself brilliantly.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I loved the read. You are very expressive with your poems Keep it up Hope to see more in the future hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
this is a wonderful poem, and I really enjoyed it...the middle was awesome, even though it did tend to throw you off, it made it a little trickier to understand..me likes  I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden. |
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