navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Standing There With You
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Standing There With You Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-07-03 05:21 PM


Today we played basketball.
You won, of course.
Your the basketball fanatic,
but I said I could take you,
and I gave you a run for your money.

You carried me around on your shoulder,
"Like a sack of potatoes" you said,
carried me around the yard,
held me up so I was taller then you,
until I stole your baseball cap and put it on my head.

And when I was standing there with you,
you holding me up above you,
me looking down at your blue eyes,
and all I wanted to do was kiss you smack on your forehead,
but of course, we were in Ronald's backyard (with Ronald).

All I wanted to do was to stand there with you,
with you holding me up in the air,
and forget about everything else in the world except for us,
and just be Alyssa and Justin again-
just wanting to stand there with you.

It doesn't matter where I am,
just as long as I'm standing there with you.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-07-03 05:44 PM


Oh my gosh! This is so totally adorable! I really enjoyed reading this, you portrayed your happiness very well! Wonderful work  

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada
2 posted 2001-07-03 07:23 PM


Hey babes!  Awesome write!  If you want to be with the guy go for it hun!


Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms, and open eyes ~Incubus~

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada
3 posted 2001-07-03 07:23 PM


Hey babes!  Awesome write!  If you want to be with the guy go for it hun!


Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms, and open eyes ~Incubus~

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
4 posted 2001-07-03 07:29 PM


This is too cute!!!!!! Go for it with the guy!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
5 posted 2001-07-03 07:33 PM


Alyssa, This poem is so sweet. It is great. It's real life at it's craziest. And I have to agree, if you want him back, go for him.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-07-03 07:55 PM


This poem was so awesome. I loved it.
You really described a girl yearning for the love of a boy....I mean you just wanting to stand there with him and that would be enough shows just how much you care about that person. I really liked this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
7 posted 2001-07-03 08:22 PM


     I agree with Sara, it's purely adorable, and I think everyone has moments like that, and I wish I could be with the person I share those moments with! I'm all bummed now.  Well thanks for writig and posting it anyway! lol I love it!

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-07-03 08:27 PM


aww this was truely adorible!!! I agree w/the others on this...good job hun  
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
9 posted 2001-07-03 08:28 PM


Nice read Allysa.
I enjoyed it.
And you obviously really care for the guy- I hope you get back together.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-07-04 03:13 AM


i really liked how you expressed this...esp by repeating that same verse over and over in such similar ways...you wrote this well ...great job!..enjoyed it alot Allysa.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
11 posted 2001-07-04 05:47 PM


aww this was so cute. sad, too. great job though and i hope everything works out. keep posting

*dq

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
12 posted 2001-07-04 05:47 PM


whoops sorry
*dq


**You can't always trust the people you want to**

[This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 07-04-2001).]

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
13 posted 2001-07-04 06:06 PM


I really liked this one.  One of my favorites that I have read from you.  Keep up the good work!

      - Cody -

If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
14 posted 2001-07-05 12:09 PM


This poem rocks!  I really loved the way you portrayed your love for this person in that just being in his company is enough for you.  Very nice work, Allysa!  I really enjoyed this.  Keep sharing all your work with us..

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
15 posted 2001-07-05 11:33 AM


Thanks ya all! This is the 1st poem I've posted in a while and I'm glad you like it.  Catch ya later.

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Ski*Chick
Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141
Fitchburg, Mass, Usa
16 posted 2001-07-06 01:21 AM


Hey that was so cute.. Min
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
17 posted 2001-07-06 01:37 AM


I liked this very much....hope you let him know how you feel  
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
18 posted 2001-07-09 11:48 AM


You are awesome Allysa and you know it too
I totally loved this one
You shouldve kissed him though
Who cares if someone else is around
Nice to see ya around again

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Kicking Kim
Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
19 posted 2001-07-09 12:05 PM


Wow, this was a heart-beating piece.  I really enjoyed it you are a very talented poet!  This is definately one to be proud of!!  Keep writing!



^*~Kicking Kim~*^  

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
20 posted 2001-07-09 01:02 PM


Thanks everyone!

Acire, you're right, I should have kissed him.  Kissing him is all I can think about.  His b day is coming up tho, so I might just have to wait until then to kiss him! What a fun b-day present, lol!

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

21 posted 2001-07-09 03:24 PM


Nicely done Allysa!  I really enjoyed this.  Thanks for the great read!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
22 posted 2001-07-10 06:12 PM


sis!!!!!!!!!!!!*HUGZ* omigod i actually cried!! this is a really good poem sis!!
reminds me of me.....good job !!!

"Like, yeah."-the famous cheerleaders
"And if I say yes, what do I get?"-again the famous cheerleaders

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Standing There With You

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary