navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » You
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic You Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677


0 posted 2001-07-03 03:38 PM


I got rid of you
I thought you were gone
But I was wrong as usual

You were that voice in my ear
Whispering the words that changed me
Pointing out my flaws
And of course, the simple solution
I was desperate, so I took what I saw as the easy road
That you you layed out for me
That easy road that only made things harder

Now I am torn between you and myself
What makes my problem go away
And my hate for myself
But you simply whisper
Your magical words in my ear

Your simply solution only made more problems
But it is like a drug
Easily addictive
I promised myself
That I would never let you come back
But now I am so much weaker
And you are so much stronger
So you have won this time
But I promise
One day
I'll get rid of you

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

© Copyright 2001 Heavens Tears - All Rights Reserved
branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
1 posted 2001-07-03 03:40 PM


Haha im the first, well great poem was well written. i like you way of writting.
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
2 posted 2001-07-03 04:18 PM


I liked this alot. So many girls are in this situation. It's horrible. Don't take it. If the guy makes you feel that bad about yourself, kick him to the curb. Yes he's sweet, of course he is cute, but he WON'T change. And it's not healthy for you to have your flaws pointed out constantly and so on. Wonderful write. I loved it- Simply loved it. Keep posting.  
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-07-03 08:03 PM


I liked this one a lot and wish you the best with your situation.
I liked the poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-04 03:22 AM


difficult situation...hope things turn out ok.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-07-04 10:22 PM


I didn't like this piece as much as I do your others.  I think you've written better.  Something here was missing.. the poem was lacking something, yet I can't wuite put my finger on it.  Anyhow, thanks for sharing.  I hope to see more soon.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Yezea, your Angel
Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 11
Canada
6 posted 2001-07-04 10:55 PM


Aww touching poem.... I know how you feel.. really... I did it.. 3 long years... but.. Believe in you.. dont be afraid by tomorrow and you will be able to rid away . Im with you  

Yezea

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

7 posted 2001-07-05 11:38 AM


Actually you guys, you are totally wrong.  This isnt to a guy, or any real person.  I know that sounds stupid, but it does make sense if you understand.  I'm sorry it is missing something.  It is kinda old.  I havent really been in a poetry writing mood lately, so I figured I would just post some older ones.  Later!!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-07-10 07:47 PM


Would you like to kindly explain exactly what it's about  
I'm lost now, I felt the same that the other readers did.
Now your reply back has made me confused
appreciate some little detail on this

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-07-23 09:26 AM


Thanks for explaining.  Now it makes more sense to me  

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Dylan Poe
Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 13
Illinois, USA
10 posted 2001-07-23 09:47 AM


Interesting way of looking at this widespread problem. Looking at it as an outside enemy was both creative and original. Great read.

Dylan

If life's a stage
We write the script
Personality the pen
The final act the final part
We all will meet our end

-Thomas A. Plemmons (TAP2)

Starnite
Junior Member
since 2001-07-05
Posts 41
Wisconsin
11 posted 2001-07-23 11:00 AM


Hey it was great.  Even though on a tough topic.

**Sarah  

DarkenedShadow
Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114
Kansas
12 posted 2001-07-23 11:32 AM


Not many people can write about such a topic and keep it together, it takes some will power to speak such words and then swallow it all down. Great job   /Nick/
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
13 posted 2001-07-27 01:21 AM


Ooo this is really powerful. Before you gave the explanation I knew it was about an eating disorder. The whole strength/weaker thing you had going is really good. Just to note all those that read in Teen Chat, the strength thread, this is what I am talking about. Not everything makes you stronger.
Not to go all ranty in your thread   but I really enjoyed the piece. It has a lot to give.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams

allie
Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218
Australia
14 posted 2001-07-27 04:09 AM


wow... i know what you mean... and revenge is ALWAYS THE ANSWER!! lol...

Remember that

ALLIE

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
15 posted 2001-07-27 04:18 AM


this is an interesting situation..i know a person whos got sumbody treating them like crap and it hurts to see that done..thanks for sharing i enjoyed the read

"I hope my mum and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream, I hear them fight
Say bad words that make me wanna cry"
E

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
16 posted 2001-07-27 04:21 AM


If I get started on this subject I won't hush so I am just gong to leave it at this: Wonderful poem!  
Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

17 posted 2001-07-27 03:44 PM


I think the last few people who posted here missed this point, but oh well.  Thanks Lizzy, I went to that thread and made my comments too.  I totally agreed w/ you.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » You

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary