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Teen Poetry #5
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Elvenblood
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since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-07-02 11:39 PM


Now that I know true love
I attempt the poets choir
Even though none have rendered
Something to not inquire
     I know not all poets try this, but just bear with me a'ight?


True love is a connection rare
Which happens not twice in life’s care
Where one of two doesn’t need to share
When ideas vanish of being a pair

Words we spoke quoted from Poe
It mattered not the words of woe
True love can happen with anything in tow
On Monet’s lily pond, the boat you row

But it involves no effort at all
Nor giving nor taking, or wall
It just happens; you don’t hear any call
It doesn’t make you walk a hall

True love is an open space
The most perfect of any place
A rapport with another loving face
On a level none could ever trace


(Authors note)

My futile endeavor is at an end
But as a poet I continued the trend
I thought I could hopefully send
You some thoughts to comprehend

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

© Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2001-07-02 11:47 PM


I like it. The format confused me (what's a poet's choir?), but even in my confusion I know a good poem when I see one. This one's happier!! Good write, once again!

Rhonda  

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
2 posted 2001-07-03 12:36 PM


Ahh yes Love. Such an amazing thing.
Beautifully written Bryan.

anonymous albert ?
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3 posted 2001-07-03 01:05 AM


wow!...youw rote this very nicely...the flow was great!...and this had a lot of emaning behind it...a beautiful job!..keepw ritin

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-07-03 12:49 PM


W W!!
You never cease to amaze me with your words, Bryan... This was absolutely indescribably awesome! I like the allusions you used as well, they were a very nice touch! Keep up the ass-kicking work!

,
Sara

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Brad Majors
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Georgia
5 posted 2001-07-03 03:21 PM


I liked it but I think we could have done wihtout the disclaimers. It takes the focus away from the piece itself. Good job!
Heavens Tears
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Posts 677

6 posted 2001-07-03 03:36 PM


I loved it.  I thought it was interesting how you wrote a little note at the end.  It was kinda humorous or something.  Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
7 posted 2001-07-03 03:54 PM


     I just have ot say to Brad Majors, that the one line disclaimer there nt he bginning...Id ont know why that's there.  It was meant to be int he beginning BEFORE that stanza but oh well.  Anyway, about your name - very cool

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
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Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-07-03 09:06 PM


I'm going to be the bad guy here, but I didn't like this.  I think you've written better pieces that I have enjoyed.  I didn't agree with the message.  The lines that say: "True love is a connection rare/Which happens not twice in life’s care."  I don't agree with that.  I think that true love can happen as many times as one would allow it to happen.  And when you say it involves no effort, that is another thing I don't agree with.  Love takes lots of effort from both people.  I'm sorry to be the bad guy, but I didn't like this as much as your other pieces.  Thanks for sharing this with us.  Keep posting all your work.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-07-03 10:53 PM


Nicely done here. I enjoyed this poem. Not as good as some of the others I've read by you, but still very good.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
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Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-07-06 12:01 PM


I enjoyed the read.  I'm not particularly fond of the rhyme scheme, but still a great read.  Thanks for sharing

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

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