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Teen Poetry #5
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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Reality |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA 
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When we first met it blew my mind and the universe was formed When we first talked it stole my breath and there was wind When we first saw each other I was knocked off my feet and there was earth When I first hurt you I had to cry and there were seas When I first hold you I will be overjoyed and there will be flowers When life finally ends with you I will be gone and there will be darkness No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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| © Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Oh I really like this one. I really like the format you used! Way cool! That is so cool! Good write! Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Hi Bryan. I liked this. The last stanza was my favorite. Good read.  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow, Bryan! THis is awesome. I love the storyline. Pretty cool.. Nice work, I look forward to reading more, so keep posting all your work. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
AHHH!!! Stop it! You are leaving me speechless here, Bryan! I LOVE this one! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! It's going in my collection! I especially like the first three stanzas... It kind of reminds me of how I felt when I first met Paul... I was just like "WOAH"... I guess you could say he "knocked me off my feet and there was earth" *LOL* Ok, so now there ISN'T any earth anymore, but stuff happens and you know pretty much that whole story... ANYHOW, enough rambling! Great work here! *prints*  ,Sara "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 07-03-2001).] |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I loved this one!! The imagery way great. At first it seemed kinda like you were saying "I am so great" or something, but there is a much deeper meaning that I see now. That just goes to show you that poetry can be interpreted so many ways. Great job! *Amanda* |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
I'm glad you didn't see it as an arrogant piece, that was my only worry about it's apearance. But It's just that...this girl...she completes me. She's my entire world! It's just...wow it's just so perfect. Ughh, but I'm just keeping quiet about it! lol No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was amazing. Simply awesome job here! Wowness. I really LOVED the way this one was written. One of my absolute favorite poems here. Awesome.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great poem ...the imagery and how you written it was awesome...enjoyed greatly.im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I love the way youve expressed your feelings for someone on this piece. Very thought out write. graeat job. hope to see more in the future. thanks for the read hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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