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Teen Poetry #5
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-07-01 12:23 PM


this is just a song i wrote. tell me what u think.

I just want, somebody to hold me,
When I feel like this, why can't you see?
I want it to be, just me and you.
I just want it to be, just us two.

I want you to hold.......me.
I want you to care for........me.
And I want you to stay with.....me.
And I just wanna love ........you.

I just wanna kiss your.....face.
Because beside you, would be my perfect .....place.
And I wanna be the water, when you swim in the.....seas.
And I wanna be your hair, that blows in  the .......breeze.

I want you to hold......me.
I want you to care for.......me.
And I want you to stay with..... me.
And I just wanna love.......you.
just......love.......you.....

fall hard, practice harder not to fall
Don't belong, Don't exist, Don't give a S***, Don't ever judge me  -Slipknot

© Copyright 2001 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-07-01 12:40 PM


Hey!   I really liked this. It was sweet. I know those feelings all to well. Keep posting.  I Enjoyed it.  
Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

2 posted 2001-07-01 04:14 PM


I enjoyed it.  I am sure that it sounds much better when you sing it than it does when I read it.  Not that it sounds bad, its just I dont know what to do w/ the .......... parts.  But it sounded great anyway!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-07-01 05:27 PM


sweet...i would really liked to hear the mp3 of this ...great job on the song...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-07-01 06:45 PM


This was sweet and TOTALLY awesome... I just wish I could HEAR it instead of just reading it... lyrics are different without music, but just as these, still wonderful! Great work  

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
5 posted 2001-07-01 08:30 PM


thanks all, i wrote this 4 this guy i really like. he's on my mind all the time so i decided 2 write it down.

fall hard, practice harder not to fall
Don't belong, Don't exist, Don't give a S***, Don't ever judge me  -Slipknot
death is certain, life is not.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-07-02 12:14 PM


This is a really well written song!  I'm not too familiar with writing lyrics, but this song seems like it would soung awesome.  Do you have a tune for it?  I would love to hear it on MP3.  Very nice work   I enjoyed this.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-07-03 04:54 PM


What kind of musical genre was this written for? I couldn't picture this being anything but a slow song, a pop song, or a mesh of both- a slow pop song.
Anyhow, the words were heart felt. Well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-07-04 09:32 PM


This is really good
It can be either a BSB, Nsync, Otown type of song
or a Tim Mcgraw
both way sounds good  
keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
9 posted 2001-07-08 10:10 PM


i'm really sorry but all those ppl u just named i actually hate i just cant stand that music. sorry, this was just a emotional thing i was going through at the time. sorry 2 have 2 say this.

fall hard, practice harder not to fall
Don't belong, Don't exist, Don't give a S***, Don't ever judge me  -Slipknot
death is certain, life is not.

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