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unsane
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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unsane |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
eh not my best...but it's how i feel right now. please read and reply honestly, thanks!! -fear- see the little dolls that shine in my hazel eyes CAN'T YOU SEE THIS PAIN I HIDE?! Observe...the many uses of a knife. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M CONFUSED?! listen closely and you'll hear... the demon's voices that blend with my own CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M NOT SANE?! touch my heart and feel the scars CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU?! -fear- emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward [This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (edited 06-28-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 bergundy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pickleweasel New Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 7AL |
Hey. I liked this poem, just like all the others I've read by you. Keep at it babe, I'm sure you'll be able to get over that guy, trust me. |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
yaaaay pickle!!!! lol i luv you homie!!!! thanks for replying. *Hugz* and i'm sure i will with u as my friend. -berg- emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
powerful and the caps made it more so...i liked the ending...good job!...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Please be rest assured that you shall have a kindred mourner of things. I know exactly how you feel. I just finished writing my first poem that somehow expressed my inability to have words to describe my feelings on something.... Anyhow, I liked the poem. It was quite dramatic. Sometimes we just have to let loose. Not all poetry has to be perfect and style oriented and so on... "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very powerful poem... words that hit me hard. I really like the beginning of the last stanza. Nice work. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to email me. That's what I'm here for  Well done here. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Dramatic, Powerful, Filled with emotion! Great job, Fear!  |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
I love this poem it's really good keep up the great work. Lauren |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
your title is what brought me here. Great warping of the word. I especially love you last stanza, though the caps lock throws me off. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The things that love does to us...it is a horrid thing but what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. Keep your head up and keep writing. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow this is strong and sad all at once |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
i liked this a lot i think you did a wonderful job. keep it up story of my life: I am so self destructive, I turn solutions into problems. Everything i thouch i ruin. Im midas in reverse |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
These words hit me hard. Not all, but most. Great poem though. *hugz* If you ever need to talk, just email me OK? *Amanda* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this one. A lot of power and emotion in this one. The ending really shows WHY you innitially wrote this. Sounds like you're going through some pain due to not being able to recieve love from somebody. Good luck.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
thanks ppl! u guys are awesome...ur helping me get thru this more then you all realize. thanks for readin and responding honestly. yaaaaaaaay! luv ya all. -fear- emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward [This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (edited 06-30-2001).] |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
wow,t his is really great. I like this, and I'm not one who cares about format, so ya know, lol. but it's great....*hugs* I know how you feel. keep yer chin up!! -->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile. |
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