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the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

0 posted 2001-06-27 02:36 PM

In the Silence
I feel the precence
Spirit surrounds me
Love sets me free
New hope today
old ways pushed away
Resurect

Dead man walking
Mute man talking
Blind man seeing
Dead man hearing
Life after death
new hope new breath
Resurect

Remove fleshes lust
in God we trust
His Spirit calling
chains are falling
washed clean
sin not seen
Resurect

Blood cleanses white
consumed with light
cross upon my back
nothing to lack
Son of Man
with you the world began
Resurect

this is totally not my best lol

I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

1 posted 2001-06-27 03:31 PM

I liked it. I like your pattern. It was perfect for this poem. Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

2 posted 2001-06-27 04:38 PM

Wow, I though this poem was great...flowed so nicely!

Great poem!

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

3 posted 2001-06-27 05:35 PM

Great work, the rescue I really enjoyed the read

Andrew

"Here we are again finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol

Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 97

4 posted 2001-06-27 10:34 PM

i disagree with you jimmy. i think this IS among your best. i really really liked it. the repetition was good. I guess i liked the free verse. great job

sorry i keep missing you online

*bad jo-bizz*

dr. jo-bizz

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-06-27 11:05 PM

I would also like to disagree with you, and say this one is one of your best. This was an awesome poem! The flow was very nice, and the repetition of "Resurrect" was was excellent! The last stanza was my favorite. The part where it says "Blood cleanses white" was good. I really enjoyed this! Nice message...
Well done!

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

6 posted 2001-06-28 12:40 PM

i LOVE this poem. You've used a great pattern with vowels and consonants that resulted in really amazing alliteration and assonance, a wonderful combination. great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

7 posted 2001-06-28 12:45 PM

Your work is so great! Wish I had your faith. Keep writing, and it IS one of your best!!!!

Rhonda

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-06-28 01:06 AM

the flow and format was great!...the meaning behind the poem was...something very nice...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

scout
Member

since 2001-06-16

Posts 175
no place owns me

9 posted 2001-06-28 12:11 PM

I liked this one, it scares me that you can write better (if this isn't your best).

Godspeed

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

10 posted 2001-06-29 07:02 AM

I honestly didn't care for the meaning but your imagery was well done. These lines I really liked:
"Dead man walking
Mute man talking
Blind man seeing
Dead man hearing
Life after death
new hope new breath
Resurect"
The images I got from that NOT relating to some religious content were great.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2001-06-29 12:59 PM

Imagery was excellent in the last lines. Very interesting way of expressing your thought and feelings. keep it up.

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

12 posted 2001-06-29 09:28 PM

Very nice style, but i'll agree with you in saying it's not your best. However, this doesn't mean it was awesome. I really liked it. The ending was superb, really hit me.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

13 posted 2001-07-08 06:20 PM

I like this, just not as much as some of the other things I read by you. though I do like the religious tones in it

-->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
*~!!~*I love Zu!!*~!!~*

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