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Teen Poetry #5
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fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2001-06-25 04:54 AM


read and reply honestly, thanks ppls.  -fear-

in this world of broken love
emotions kill
but so do you
and i'm so sick
of your stupid lies
that i am ready to die
why must you always do this?
the only thing i've learned from you
is how to cry
well screw you
cause i give up
sick of your crap
and your frequent lies
you say you love me
but it's "not enough"
then you have the audacity to
try to make me feel sorry for you
well cry me a river
cause i can honestly say that...
i no longer care about you

-fear-

this poem is dedicated to justin, who on this very day, has smashed my heart into bite sized pieces.  

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

© Copyright 2001 bergundy - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2001-06-25 07:05 AM


Wow that was really powerful, I thought it was a great read... Hope things get better soon  
Andrew

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

2 posted 2001-06-25 11:51 AM


Woah.  That was great.  It was sooo powerful, and full of anger and emotion.  I can honestly say that I have felt this way before, and basically spoken these same words to that person.  You'll get through this I'm sure.  Just smile!  (Easier said than done huh?)

*~*Amanda*~*
I need more time to find the real me.
to fly like the birds, to be set free.
Why couldn't I stop until I had died?
It was hate for myself hidden inside.

[This message has been edited by Heavens Tears (edited 06-25-2001).]

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
3 posted 2001-06-25 12:36 PM


WOW Fear!  
I loved this sooo much! The Anger is so powerful. Man have I been there before. Amazing write here! It's times like these that I damn myself for not ever making a library.    Keep posting Fear!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2001-06-25 06:15 PM


If you don't mind, I have one for you.....I can completely understand how you feel......I'm sorry, and if you want an ear, just email me ok?  
All The Lies
~SEA

They say true love
never dies
but what about
all the lies

All the lies
that I thought true
all the lies
that came from you

All the lies
that broke my heart
all the lies
is why we're apart

They say true love
never dies
guess they didn't hear
all the lies

1988


I just wanted to share that with you.....hope you don't mind   ~SEA

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-06-25 07:18 PM


Tough situation... I'm sorry you're going through this, and I hope you can find it in you to get through this, stronger than you were before.  The poem was very good.  The line about dying alarmed me a little.  If you really feel that way, then please seek prof. help.  Nice work.  Enjoyed, as always.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
6 posted 2001-06-25 07:19 PM


Hey,

    Anger is powerful and it workes for you this is a wonderful poem very well done   and to Sea --> now why you have to be like that you needs to post it where more people can see it   I loved it. Until your next poem fearing-laughter

       -- Linc

       "Blood Moon"
   Host: Lark.crodo.com
         Port:1313

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
7 posted 2001-06-25 10:35 PM


I like this poem cuz I can connect with it on so many levels. I have been there and done that!!

*hugs*

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
8 posted 2001-06-26 12:09 PM


i'm very sympathetic to this sense of emotion   but i think it's important to keep your head up, or some other cheesy expression     Your poetry is very well written!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
9 posted 2001-06-26 12:35 PM


zu-thanks mr zu, lol you have no idea how much your screen name amuses me =)

heaven's tears-thanks...i know i'm not the only one whose felt this way but it still sucks.  i'm glad you're there for me :-)  n i'll try to smile...hehe see i just did! *points to mr smiley face* yaaaaay!!!!

spice-wow i'm glad you liked it =) and ya...i'd say the main emotions here are anger and sadness lol.  thanks for replyin.

sea-awesome poem! seriously...i felt that one too.  i think i'm getting a lil better...but it still hurts ya know? thanks for your offer.  maybe i'll take u up on it sometime.  i really appreciate it =)

marie-ya i was feelin pretty bad, but i think i'm better now.  i'd never kill myself, no person is worth taking ur own life.  thanks for responding :-)

linc-wow thanks...it makes me feel really good when ppl tell me how much they love it, lol i know that sounds stuck up but oh well.  thanks again for replyin =)

stace-yeah lots o ppl have been there, which sucks.  i'm glad you're okay from it...thanks for being nice and stuff.  it means a lot to me =)

O.O.C-thanks...sometimes cheesy expressions work lots lol.  thanks for replyin!

hey you guys...seriously thanks for reading my stuff, and being nice about your responses.  it means a lot to me, and helps too.  
-fear-

emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-06-26 07:47 PM


First of all, you go fear.
Don't let anyone make you feel lower than them.
Youve shown so much inner strangth in this poem
keep it up and remain strong
thanks for sharing

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

FoxXena
Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted
11 posted 2001-06-26 08:47 PM


Not all emotions kill. Just look at the happy times.

~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~
~*~I say it is the written word.~*~

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-06-27 01:14 AM


Bite sized pieces, eh? Sounds like a not so fun situation.
I liked how this was written. I also liked the part where you said "Screw you" haha.
Nicely done there.
Stay strong.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
13 posted 2001-06-27 04:15 AM


I liked this one alot...its a tough situation and I know it sucks majorly...but this was an excellent part I too liked the "Screw you" part...gets right down to the point....one day at a time..
~Nikki~

[This message has been edited by Shygirl82 (edited 06-27-2001).]

DYME
Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104
Texas
14 posted 2001-06-27 04:25 PM


THAT SUONDS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD SAY!! I CAN RELATE TO THIS ONE ALMOST TOO WELL. IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY THOUGHTS. THAT'S SCARY...A LITTLE TOO SCARY!! BUT I LOVED THIS ONE. THE EMOTION IN IT WAS LIKE...BAM, HERE IT IS.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
15 posted 2001-06-28 01:30 AM


ya...now he's hitting on my best friend...thanks for the comments guys =)
-fear-

emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
16 posted 2001-06-28 11:43 AM


That only shows you what kind of person he truly is.

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
17 posted 2001-06-28 12:15 PM


thanks acire...i know that he's not a very good person sometimes, but i still love him ya know?? so my brain can hate him, but my heart still pretty much IS him.  i am not sure if that makes sense...oh well.  i just wanted to thank you guys for being there and reading my stuff.  it means a lot to me =)
-fear-

emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward

scout
Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175
no place owns me
18 posted 2001-06-28 02:09 PM


in my younger teen years (i only have a couple months left of teen years) i was influenced by 4 girls, they were my best friends when i was 13, and they taught me two things... that i should never change, and that all boys suck!
to this day, i hold that true.

i love the power in this poem, you can really feel your anger.

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
19 posted 2001-06-28 04:09 PM


I know this one all too well. I like the way you worded it, and I have to agree with Dopes, I liked the "screw you" part. Keep it strong. Guys just need to grow up. lol   Keep smiling!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
20 posted 2001-06-29 07:15 AM


Sounds like you should be teaching Justin a lesson...
Honestly - your raw emotions really meant something. They gave so much more the piece than just little words strung together to sound pretty. You've done a great job here because you have told it like it is.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

Kicking Kim
Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
21 posted 2001-07-06 12:47 PM


This was a very strong poem.  The structure and the rhythm add to the strength of it!  It was an excelent read!  

^*~Kicking Kim~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

22 posted 2001-07-07 03:29 PM


full of powerful emotions..i can relate to this about someone close to me...hope things get better Fear.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

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