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little_krazy_poet
Junior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 41

0 posted 2001-06-25 03:00 AM

sitting outside
looking across the sea
someone is on the other side
looking back at me

looking at her
sitting out on a rock
i never mind the 12am
that shows apon the clock

her pale skin
her dark black hair
and her gazing blue eyes
that look at me and stair

i can’t talk to her
she can’t talk to me
but we sit here in love
gazing across the sea

WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL!! AND DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU TO DO OTHERWISE

WHEN YOU LIVE, YOU DIE
WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR FORGOTTEN
AND WHEN YOUR FORGOTTEN

[This message has been edited by little_krazy_poet (edited 06-25-2001).]

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2001-06-25 04:58 AM

hey this is kool...i liked the idea behind it. sorta weird...yet interesting. thanks for the read.
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2001-06-25 07:07 AM

Great work I really enjoyed the read, cool concept as well.
Andrew

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-06-25 11:59 AM

Now, this is pretty cool! I really liked the last stanza. Well done! I enjoyed this.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-06-25 02:42 PM

beautiful.....like the feel of this

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

5 posted 2001-06-25 05:05 PM

Wow, I thought your imagery was good here, how you discribed the girl. A very nice write! Keep it up!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

6 posted 2001-06-25 10:50 PM

this is really good. I like this. keep it up.

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-06-26 04:04 PM

Ooooo that was very serene and peaceful. Beautiful write my friend. I'm very impressed. Keep it up and keep sharing

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

FoxXena
Member

since 2001-06-13

Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted

8 posted 2001-06-26 08:32 PM

This is a really great poem. Hope to see more.

~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~
~*~I say it is the written word.~*~

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

9 posted 2001-06-26 09:14 PM

I really liked this one. The only thing I noticed is the spelling of upon. But other than that, it was a great poem!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

10 posted 2001-06-27 01:25 AM

I really liked how this one came out. very nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

11 posted 2001-06-28 06:15 AM

This situation sucks! Don't worry though. You'll make it through even if you can't reach eachother.

Good luck to you.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

12 posted 2001-06-29 12:39 PM

Wow, that's an awesome poem. Great imagery. I can relate to it totally.

- Cody -

If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

13 posted 2001-06-29 01:21 AM

this hit me HARD!...i soo totally related to this...i loved this one...very well expressed and discribed...the imagery was beautiful...great job!...bye..

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-29-2001).]

scout
Member

since 2001-06-16

Posts 175
no place owns me

14 posted 2001-06-29 11:32 AM

You could always make a swim, make a raft, or just walk over the bridge!!! There is always a way to cross the sea.

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

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