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Teen Poetry #5
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Above The Clouds
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Above The Clouds |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA 
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Hey ya'll! I just got back from Washington DC 2 days ago, so this one is new. I wrote this flying back from DC to Seattle on the airplane. It's about my grandma and grandpa who died before I was born, and my grandpa who died just 2 years ago... Anyway, let me know what you think.  ABOVE THE CLOUDS Above the clouds Seeing all I can see I think about you And how you never knew me Above the clouds Isn't this where you stay? You're the angel of the clouds Which are hardly ever grey Above the clouds I feel so high I look for your angel's face But I'm sure it's not what I'll see Above the clouds And below them, too You've been gone for years I still feel the spirit of you Above the clouds I can see some rain And I know it's your tears As your pride I continue to gain - Cody - If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!! If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid? [This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (edited 06-24-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like this one; very sweet. Keep it up! Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is very sweet... I enjoyed the whole style and format of the poem. The rhyme scheme was overall good... shoppy in a few places, but nothing that was serious. The flow was okay. I think the only place that i can really say it was off was the last stanza. The last line was too long for the rest of the stanza. But I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing this with us. keep posting your work. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
A couple of spelling errors.But thats easily fixed. I must say- I really enjoyed this one alot. Absolutely great work here Cwboy.  Keep posting!You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is very nicely done I like this very much |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Cody- very nice write.. i like this alot!! smiles, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
kool tribute, i'm sure ur grandparents would be proud -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work I really enjoyed the read Andrew |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Nice write. Very sweet. I felt the flow in the last stanza a little...not there. It didn't work for me, but that's a little thing. Keep up the great work!  -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is one beautiful tribute to your grandparents. Beautiful emotions put into beautiful words. Excellent write. keep sharing hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
gosh, i can totally relate!! thank you for this poem...I really needed to read that... I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
This is a very thoughtful poem. My grandpa on my mom's side died about three weeks ago and this poem really made me think of him. Mahalo (thank you). ~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Awesome job here....very touching poem. I loved it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was beautiful Good job hun...very heartfelt |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sweet ...i liked the imagery in this one...very beautiful poem here.im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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