»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Tameless Beauty
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Tameless Beauty |
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
|
for perfection being made So tiny, so delicate-- each detail could never be magnified to show her beauty kept in secret stored in chloroplasts Her petals wilt, and crumble in my fingertips her fading lips now take a sip of nourishment from ragweed crypts The weed may die of winter's wrath but beauty still will last |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
The title of this poem is good, Carly. As is the whole thing. I think I'm starting to become desensitized to the power of your work however, as this one failed to really hit me deeply. It's a great piece of writing and I can't find what could possibly be wrong with it. However I leave the floor open to different replies.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like, I like. I can't find anything wrong with it... Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardeil *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Carly- "The weed may die of winter's wrath but beauty still will last" i really like this alot! very nice write... smiles, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
...nicely written throughout...great poem...hope to see more from you carly ...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
|
katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is good, i likeed it katie fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Excellent, Carly! Not the best I've read by you, but another awesome display of your talent nonetheless. I loved the last two lines. I enjoyed this very much. Nicely done. --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T |
||
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work from you Carly, I really enjoyed the read, One for the library me thinks. Andrew "Here we are again Finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I've read better from you, but it's still a beautiful poem. I feel that there's something missing... Ah well...leave it to the pigmes.  (don't ask)-Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
why would I pick this apart? I like it very much |
||
|
DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
i havent read much from you and i think this is really great and they say theres better from you.....ill have to go read them! nice job. i hope to see more soon! one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live [This message has been edited by DarkAngelOfTheStars (edited 06-24-2001).] |
||
|
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
again, wonderful work. your poetry is simply and tamelessly beautiful !"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
|
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
i liked this post from ya...not ur best, but we can't all have constant godlike poems. this one is still pretty good. and i'm getting tired...so i'll shoosh up now. keep postin, i always like ur stuff. -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You have always proven to be one of the best poets of PIP. Thanks for sharing again. hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
||
|
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
CCCAAAAAAAWWWWLLLLLYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved it cutie!!!!!! keep writing!! k? got it?!?!?  I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
||
|
FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
Wow, this was really great! I like it VERY much! ~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~ |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I didn't think this was up to some of the levels of poems i've read from you Sissy. I did love the message though. Keep posting!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh my god, Carly!!! This is soooooo good. I am extremely envious of this. The imagery is out of this world. Very, VERY well done. Be proud, chicky. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
||
|
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I really liked this Carly. The imagery was outstanding, simply outstanding. Wonderfully written! I wish I had seen it sooner.. |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
yay! i wasnt gonna reply to this cuz i knew u wouldnt post ur other poem till this one had died.....BUT someone posted to it! and that lets me. *does a lil dance* carlAy! i love this poem..its great. i think u did a great job on it. i always enjoy ur poems so much. the quality of them is just amazing. ur imagery here is great and ur wording is wowish. u always take it to the next step. great job! *Hugs* love you carlAy. HB sis. :P tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
