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Teen Poetry #5
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Godsend_1
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since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-06-23 03:36 AM



this is my weakness
crying when i hurt
bleeding when i cut
weeping when i feel

this is my weakness
feeling what i feel
me being me
hurting like i do

this is my weakness
acting like i do
ben being ben
crying like i do

this is my weakness
ben as ben
me as me
i as i

is this a weakness?
being ben redshaw the great
acting like me
loving you and me

is this my weakness?
me being me
crying, and hurting
is this my weakness?

NO!

a wiseman once said "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!
i girl who thinks shes wise said " ben is a dorko" i agree

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
obscurity of cloud
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since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
1 posted 2001-06-23 09:18 AM


this is so touching.  you've put a lot of really strong emotion into this and i think it comes out a very good poem.  Your introspect pays off; great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Marshalzu
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Lurking
2 posted 2001-06-23 11:13 AM


Great work Godsend I really enjoyed the read, well done  
Zu

"Here we are again Finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol

SEA
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with you
3 posted 2001-06-23 12:52 PM


very well done!  
Fading Away
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4 posted 2001-06-23 01:48 PM


Nice message.  You should always be yourself, because that's the best that you can be... great job, Ben!  I enjoyed this.

--Marie

"Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round.  And I still love you." –James T

Allan Riverwood
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5 posted 2001-06-23 01:54 PM


Yeah, good message.  A piece of advice I like to give out is to never change who you are for anybody other than yourself.  
Well done, Mr Redshaw the Great.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Acies
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Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-06-23 02:09 PM


I see you're being strong, and that's a start.  keep it up

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

DYME
Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104
Texas
7 posted 2001-06-23 02:48 PM


It's good that you love yourself and the way you are. Never change.  

No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
8 posted 2001-06-23 06:29 PM


Great write here.
Always stay Ben.  
Keep posting.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Skyfire
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9 posted 2001-06-23 07:29 PM


Yes!! Always be you no matter how weird you are! It's amazing how many people watch you to see if you are yourself or not, and if you are yourself, they follow suit and become themselves also! Did that make any sense? Great read!!
Rhonda

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardeil *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

anonymous albert ?
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10 posted 2001-06-23 11:57 PM


nice write...this showed a lot of emotions...and the end...powerful!...good job ...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

stace_co2003
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since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
11 posted 2001-06-25 07:57 PM


well, I like this poem!! it's got a really good message!! thanks!! (for posting I mean, heehee)

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

Dopey Dope
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12 posted 2001-06-26 11:34 PM


I enjoyed this one a lot Ben. Very well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
13 posted 2001-06-30 12:41 PM


Nice one Ben. It is obvious that you have put alot of thought into this one.

Well done.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

CwboyAtHeart
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since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
14 posted 2001-06-30 02:27 AM


Awesome.  I loved this, had lots of emotion.  I don't think being you could ever be a weakness.  Anyway, I really enjoyed htis piece.  Keep being you!

      - Cody -

If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl
15 posted 2001-06-30 09:20 AM


I agree with Allan never change for anyone but yourself. Good write!!

"Woah my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time"- Unchained Melody

scout
Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175
no place owns me
16 posted 2001-06-30 11:05 AM


nice poem! great work...

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

Heavens Tears
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17 posted 2001-06-30 12:23 PM


Who can you be but yourself?  I have found that even when you change for someone, you are still you, because you become what you make yourself become.  Ok, thats a little confusing, but I can explain it to myslf and understand it, thats all that matters.  Great poem, and I look forward to more!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
18 posted 2001-06-30 05:18 PM


Great write! Very powerful. You put a lot into this.  
Until next time...

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
19 posted 2001-08-16 11:13 PM


*hmm* I'm kinda late to reply to this one, but oh wellz   anyways, i liked this one a lot, mr. bennerz! *nods* Be yourself buddy! *sings her "be yourself" song* :P Take my demented cat icon, for example..if she(or maybe it's a he..) cared about what everyone else thought, she wouldn't look all retarded and speshul. see? get my point? by the way, the point is not to try and look retarded and speshul...but to umm...be the white knight I can lean on.   Luv ya buddy!
__o0o_Anna_o0o__   *waves*

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
20 posted 2001-11-13 03:25 PM


hey ben its me =) hope you get emails when you get replys and hope you have time to read my new poem *hugz* awesome poem talk latterz Scarlet
TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
21 posted 2001-11-13 09:14 PM


Very emotional poem it is a very powerful piece.I loved it keep up the great work.
  Lauren

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
22 posted 2001-11-14 09:59 AM


How did i not get to this poem until i was the 22nd person to reply!? OYYYY!!!! This poem was amazing..it definately does not make you a weak person, in my mind it makes you a stronger person..amazing job

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

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