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Open Poetry #14

Indulgence

theLadypoet
Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 97
Or USA

0 posted 2001-07-10 10:20 AM

Let me sip a dream of you
from this fragile cup.
Let me see your face in
the bold boil of storm clouds.
Send the wind, my darling love,to
whisper your sweet name in my ear.
Let us lie down in
silky-dark bowers and indulge
our senses in the riot of
passion that does grip us so.
Then, thus entwined, will your
heart beat in rhythm
with those plaintive cries of
ecstacy that tremble so,
And they shall be the bow
that strokes the strings of my
winged instrument to bring forth
the floods of joy.
Again and again, we shall
slip away from the world …
in a tangle of lips, a bondage
of flesh shall carry our song
to sing above the stars.

"A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water..." Eleanor Roosevelt

[This message has been edited by theLadypoet (edited 07-10-2001).]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-10 10:27 AM

very interesting work..passionate and strong in emotional content...and determination...

I enjoyed

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2001-07-10 10:54 AM

Enjoyable read.
I would suggest if you are going to use "thee" in place of "you," then use "thy" or "thine" in place of "your."

(e.g. "Send the wind, my darling love,
to whisper your name in my ear."
would become
Send the wind, my darlig love,
to whisper thy name in my ear."
and
"Then, thus entwined, will your
heart beat in rhythm ..."
would become
Then, thus entwined, will thine
heart beat in rhythm.)

[This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 07-10-2001).]

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

3 posted 2001-07-10 01:58 PM

I enjoyed this. Very passionate, interesting imagery. Hope to read more of you.

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.

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