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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-07-04 07:00 PM


     All Around Her

When she lay down across the water
her days long gone floated there
in the reflected clouds
with her hair full around her
her hair full around her
      
She swayed with the silk of her breath
moving in rippled laughter held in
and light played across her face
illuminating the fragile belief
that floating was peace
moving all around her

When she closed her eyes
the tilt of earth lapped against
her cheeks in downy tender
and she could hear the sea songs
of time when breathing was balanced
on the scale of the ocean and sand
playing all around her

To choose was in the watching
of how the sun lit the trees
and the melting of color became sharp
as she touched the last barnacle
and her hair fell all around her

She felt the dream dangle
then lose its magic in a splash
that brought time billowing across her vision
in a child’s laughter
and when she opened her eyes
love was playing all around her
playing all around her

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-05-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-07-04 07:06 PM


Good gosh girl...how do you DO this...send me a little bit of that Martie weaving, I've got a whole lot of learning to do...

THIS....will stay at the top for a long, long time....

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

2 posted 2001-07-04 08:51 PM


beautifully written Martie, in true Martisque slendor.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-07-04 09:26 PM


When she lay down across the water
her days long gone floated there
===================================      
She swayed with the silk of her breath
moving in rippled laughter held in
and light played across her face
illuminating the fragile belief
that floating was peace
moving all around her

When she closed her eyes
the tilt of earth lapped against
her cheeks in downy tender
and she could hear the sea songs
of time when breathing was balanced
on the scale of the ocean and sand
playing all around her

To choose was in the watching
of how the sun lit the trees
and the melting of color became sharp
==================================
She felt the dream dangle
then loose its magic in a splash
that brought time billowing across her vision
in a child’s laughter
and when she opened her eyes
love was playing all around her
playing all around her
================================

OH MY ...
I have only two things to say....
first...just ONE time I want to feel what this poem describes...
and secondly...
I WANT TO WRITE LIKE THIS WHEN I GROW UP...
OH...and one more thing...this goes in me library  for a reminder of how a muse CAN BE.  
( tis not fair to give me such poet envy on a holiday) *S*
me

We're all feeding our lonely like it might go away,
Like the doors of heaven will swing wide open if we just find the right words to say.
~E. McCain

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
4 posted 2001-07-04 09:29 PM


Very nice read, Martie, gentle smile, you do have a wonderful way about you here
Blaec
Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 130
The Sunshine State
5 posted 2001-07-04 11:21 PM


Being somewhat new here this was the first time that I've read your writing.  I will be waiting for more.  This is beautiful.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-07-05 12:15 PM


Martie~
And I breathe contented~

'When she closed her eyes
the tilt of earth lapped against
her cheeks in downy tender'


Doesn't get much more relaxing than this~
Beautiful, my friend.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-07-05 04:51 PM


came back to feel this one again  

We're all feeding our lonely like it might go away,
Like the doors of heaven will swing wide open if we just find the right words to say.
~E. McCain

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

8 posted 2001-07-05 04:58 PM


You're good girl...

...of how the sun lit the trees
and the melting of color became sharp
as she touched the last barnacle
and her hair fell all around her

She felt the dream dangle
then lose its magic in a splash...

you're VERY good....



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2001-07-05 05:02 PM


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmartie!!!!

This is astonishingly beautiful...and so soothing when read aloud...I just kept coming back to this one and I'm still at a loss for words.

She felt the dream dangle
then lose its magic in a splash
that brought time billowing across her vision
in a child’s laughter
and when she opened her eyes
love was playing all around her
playing all around her

Just blew ME outta the water!  

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

10 posted 2001-07-05 05:08 PM


Soothing. Restful.
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2001-07-05 05:37 PM


Spectacular write, Martie!!  Wow!!  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2001-07-05 05:46 PM


Thank you all for seeing the feeling of water with me...and Janet, thank you for coming back a second time.  Hugs all!!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2001-07-06 06:32 AM


OMG Martie, I am at a loss for words, you are incredible, this poem is incredible.

She felt the dream dangle
then lose its magic in a splash
that brought time billowing across her vision
in a child’s laughter
and when she opened her eyes
love was playing all around her
playing all around her


Sighhh, you make my head spin Martie, I love it!  


Maree

"little miss understood
little misunderstood"

~Marry me Jane~


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2001-07-06 06:38 AM


Just incredible poetry my dear flowe girl....just incredible!!

               "When she closed her eyes
                 the tilt of earth lapped against
                 her cheeks in downy tender
                 and she could hear the sea songs
                 of time when breathing was balanced
                 on the scale of the ocean and sand
                 playing all around her

                 To choose was in the watching
                 of how the sun lit the trees
                 and the melting of color became sharp
                 as she touched the last barnacle
                 and her hair fell all around her

                 She felt the dream dangle
                 then lose its magic in a splash
                 that brought time billowing across her vision
                 in a child’s laughter
                 and when she opened her eyes
                 love was playing all around her
                 playing all around her"

Oh yes you are such a sweet but deep and inviting talent to read!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
15 posted 2001-07-06 08:17 AM


I second JM's feeling....lovely me friend.

jwesley

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2001-07-06 09:38 AM


Martie, this is so very lovely... the last verse is especially captivating! *S*
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