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Open Poetry #14
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Lisann
Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350


0 posted 2001-07-02 11:25 PM



There are those that expect me to forgive
To let charitable kindness and reason
wash over me,
Like a rushing stream over jagged rocks.
To forgive-------NOW----------
But how do I forgive?
How can I possibly forgive them
After what they did to me?
Try to imagine the  humiliation
And the violation of rape.
Then,
Imagine it as constant
Unpredictable,
but inevitable.
Now,
Place it in the context of imprisonment.
And finally,
Place it in the hands of a beloved caretaker
While he says it is for you that he is doing it.
The violation breaks you apart.
Like an atom hit too hard
You split,
Like a knife,
the pain goes straight to your heart.
Your spirit leaves to float above
Now,
You can only watch and wait
For him to finish
His parody of love
his particular brand of hate.
YOu lay helpless,
No will,
No strength,
To stop or control it,
Or call a halt.
And,
If he could feel but just a tenth of the pain
He'd acknowledge his fault,
Today,
Years later,
I'm still weeping,
raging,
And searching for answers.
But,
I am also loving.
In my heart,
Along with the grief and the fury
I FOUND LOVE.
How can I forgive?
Because I am a survivor.
I survived a childhood of horror
And I am still going.
And through forgiveness
I can release the pain and the anger
that ties me to the past
And reclaim myself
I will not just have survived
I WILL HAVE TRIUMPHED
AND IN THAT
I CAN FORGIVE.

© Copyright 2001 Lisann - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2001-07-02 11:28 PM


your triumphe speaks so loud in these words, i am in awe of your strength
cpalmer
Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977
Phoenix, Az
2 posted 2001-07-02 11:35 PM


Very powerful! I admire the strength and courage!
Cindi

God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears
Cpalmer

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
3 posted 2001-07-02 11:56 PM


Wonderful...

What don't kill you can only make you stronger...

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
4 posted 2001-07-03 12:12 PM


Then you have received a diploma worth infinitely more than any Ph.D out there:  this one reads Wisdom-101 -- Reconciliation.  When you forgive, you can move on, as you have stated.  You may never forget, and for that matter, perhaps you shouldn't, for it is in those lessons learned that one can compare one's current place in life relative to one's past and gauge how far they have come, with hopefully a clearer map of where they choose to go.  Kudos for posting such "controversial" poetry.  We can learn much from reading shared writings such as this.

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

Lisann
Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350

5 posted 2001-07-03 12:56 PM


Thank you for your replies everyone.  the one thing that I have learned recently is that holding on to the anger and the pain kept me tied to the past but once I let go of the anger and the pain and chose forgiveness---a whole new world opened up for me.  I have found love.   My angel Jane has taught me so much about life and love.  And my marriage has turned to a much more loving relationship.
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

6 posted 2001-07-03 01:29 AM


Lisann, your poem touches my heart and upon reading your reply to our PoetFriends I can only smile at the spectacular triumphs you have made...

Hugs2U
*~coco~*

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2001-07-04 05:23 AM



Lisann-
   wow...very powerful write on an
   extremely painful and difficult subject.
   you've penned this well..
   forgiveness looks good on you...

   hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



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