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Open Poetry #14
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MARK V SHELDON
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since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

0 posted 2001-07-02 05:52 PM


Crimson dew which life sustains
Trickles down the pale remains
A shaft of light reflected in
Sanguine beads of cardinal sin

A mist envelopes cobblestone
Cloaking what was left alone
By silhouette kept out of sight
Becoming one with the night...


(Copyright 1993 by: MARK V SHELDON)

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

© Copyright 2001 Mark V Sheldon - All Rights Reserved
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2001-07-02 06:06 PM


This one has a spooky macabre quality to it.  I like it anyway.  Good write, Mark.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
2 posted 2001-07-02 08:25 PM


Thanks, Lone Wolf -- thought I'd post something a little different, though maybe I should have waited 'till Halloween...?

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2001-07-03 09:41 AM


Nice and creepy, halloween in July is a good thing. I like that so much better than July 4th!
Sandra

Lady In White
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since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
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4 posted 2001-07-03 10:16 AM


Oh sheesh...why is this making me think of Jack the Ripper....

well done, Sir....

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
5 posted 2001-07-03 11:02 AM


Got to love Halloween, Sandra -- it's a much more "interesting" holiday...  just thought I'd post something a little different than my usual stuff...  thanks for reading.

My Lady:  it was between Jack and Drac, though I was picturing more of the Count when I wrote this...  I wanted to try my hand at a simple and succinct Gothic style...  Thanks for your reply.

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

athena4
Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622

6 posted 2001-07-04 11:37 PM


Mark,
     The Crimson Dew has a surreal quality to it.  Perhaps there is a ghost from some other era lingering amongst the droplets!  I like this novel approach to your writing...
           Elise

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
7 posted 2001-07-05 12:02 PM


Thank you, Elise, for replying.  I think this was simply a dark, Halloweenesque impression where I tried to be extremely concise with the phrasing, yet very intense in the imagery/allusion to the color red...

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-07-05 03:38 PM


Crimson dew which life sustains
Trickles down the pale remains
A shaft of light reflected in
Sanguine beads of cardinal sin
==================================

oh this is very cool...I love a good Vampy poem LOL
cryptic and imagery rich...
very cool vocab and phrasing and the cadence is perfect,
this was a treat to read aloud
succinct with impact and intensity..
very well done POEet sir  

We're all feeding our lonely like it might go away,
Like the doors of heaven will swing wide open if we just find the right words to say.
~E. McCain

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
9 posted 2001-07-05 03:40 PM


Enjoyed the imagery very much.  Nicely done.
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-07-05 03:42 PM


wow...this one packs a punch......very good!  
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
11 posted 2001-07-05 03:53 PM


exquisite job of imagery, here!

I do think you want envelops rather than envelopes, though.

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
12 posted 2001-07-05 04:05 PM


JM, thank you much for your encouraging words.  This one is one of my favorite ones to read aloud, as well.  Poe was in the back of my mind with this one...

Poeminister:  thank you, too, for checking this one out -- I'm glad you enjoyed the "pictures", even though they weren't that "enjoyable" :-)

A "punch", eh SEA?  Was that pun intended? (more red imagery...)  ;->

VAS -- thank you so much!  Great catch on the word...  yes, I did indeed mean "envelops".  Let me change that...

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

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