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Open Poetry #14
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Pretty Kitty ('Deer's Cat) Goes On A Tear
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Pretty Kitty ('Deer's Cat) Goes On A Tear |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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She dashed through the open door and tore around the room. A living version of a circus cycle, defying gravity with aplomb. Every sound that ever grated across every shrieking nerve ‘Deer swore his ears recorded as she slid though the hors d'oeuvres. Pretty Kitty was on a tear with one purpose on her mind, The rid herself of what she'd gained when curiosity made her blind. He'd placed her there in his room before the party guests arrived, Allowed her access to his spacious suite, thinking she'd be all right. There on the bed's night stand, next to his glasses and a book, ‘Deer left his bottle of Viagra, which on special occasions he partook. He'd left the cap loosely secured so he wouldn't waste a minute, Just in case he became excited, and needed to get in it. Pretty Kitty has watched poor ‘Deer on more than several nights, Hastily gulp down a pill when he thought the moment right. And every time he had done it, the end was always the same, Lots of yowling followed by purring, his wildness finally tamed. Now, Pretty Kitty is pretty smart (at least for a dumb cat), And she wanted to yowl and purr, as she'd seen poor ‘Deer do that. So she teased out a precious pill, and gave it a curious sniff, Gulped it down without a chew, and felt her tail go stiff. All her hairs stood straight out, her whiskers sprang out too, Her legs grew stiff, her backed arched up (as ‘Deer's is wont to do). She thought 10,000 dogs from Hades had taken hold her skin, And my friends, I swear its true, ‘Deer's party started then. The guests watched in dismay when Pretty Kitty finally stopped, Caterwauled one last time, went limp and then she dropped. She started purring in rhythmic bursts, as cats are wants to do, And that's when I heard her purr, " ‘Deer, was it good for you?" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(laughing) Well now..there was a journey and a half with some visuals I am not sure I will rid myself of for a while.... enjoyed ( I think... I can't be sure as it still hurts from laughing) |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
ROTFLMBO.....this is going to stay at the top for a long, long time... well, at least until there's a " 'Deer's Dear John" reply.... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh my gosh...this is too funny!!! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Viagra? Deer? NO WAY Jose...this is hilarious! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What did I tell you, people? HE HATES CATS!!! Works them into his poetry and does nasty things to them. This pirate cannot be trusted!! Balladeer needing Viagra? That would be like Rosanne needing cholestorol..LOL! See you soon, sailor  |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
hehehe, this is one kitty who is staying away from you! Grudgingly I must admit though, this is one hilarious poem  |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
For shame telling Mr Deers bedroom secrets. By the way how is it you know what Deer keeps on his night table and how he reacts to it. What were you doing in his bedroom?????  |
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Lisann Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350 |
This was hilarious. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
CP - Just thinking of 'Deer cruising through PiP unscathed and unassailed is enough to make the hairs stand on end. I'm glad I was able to reach at least one other person with the wicked truth about that scalawag! lol Deca - Oh how I wish your comment was true; but, since 'Deer is a Moderator, I suspect he will deflect the hundreds of "Thank You"s for my expose. Martie - Thank you very much - I think the PiP is blessed to have so many wonderul poets who can recognize true talent. Now, if I could just be like Balladeer, people would recognize me, too! lol Irish - Sad but true - poor Michael got his horrible injury during the war. Which War? The Big One, of course - WW I (heh). 'Deer - I know I promised to keep this story to myself (my muse will never forgive me). It's great that I can show everybody what a wonderful lover of cats you are. Don't worry, though - a lot of counselling and you'll be just like me! Kitten - You can trust me - honest. I can prove it. Just tell me some of your very best fantasies, and I won't tell a soul (psst, 'Deer, I'll you later with all the good stuff lil Kitten is gonna tell me *wink*). 2B - Yanno, that scathing factoid you just unloaded in here puts a damper on my spying.. err, investigative reporting... and now 'Deer is gonna start looking for the secret cameras. There goes weeks of surveillance work down the tubes! lol Lisann - Thank you for your comment. I sense a bit of scepticism in your reply. I am wounded deeply by your mistrust of my intentions. Wounded! All I want is for 'Deer to be eulogized appropriately. Honest. That's all I want. (heh, she'll fall for this blatant lie and I'll be able to win her away from that rascally 'Deer). |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL... And a good time was had by all???? LOL. You've just GOT to quit giving away all Balladeer's secrets, sailor... You've just GOT to quit spying on Deer to learn his secrets, sailor... And Lor probably thought you were hanging out at Hooters all that time! *G* Thanks for the grins, scalawag... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah yes, BIG grins! Too cute, but that's been said... bad boys...bad bad boys.... |
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pandora Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 184 |
oh 'deer, oh my, it sure sounds like that kitten was a star! front and center stage, just like a bug caught in a jar! everybody watched, you say? and everybody stared? i wonder if her catnip could have ever been compared! as i have said a thousand times or millions in my ditties, sometimes you must watch out for us intriguing little kitties! we can get into lots of things and often cause a ruckus.... ummm.... never mind hey, long john, i just have a question i would like to ask! was this a masquerade and did you wear a pirate's mask? how do you know what goes on there at Balladeer's soirees? did he invite you to his house to lounge upon the chaise? i'm curious, you kitty kicking pirate, since accounts of incidents like this quite often come with large amounts of swashbuckling pure nonsense and are overly inflated! perhaps viagra's in your story, much exaggerated! i was amused, however, when you called the kitty "pretty", i didn't think you liked us, and for that i had much pity, but now i know that you can see the beauty of a feline.... i better dart on outa here, and make a rapid beeline for any door that's open, since i trust you not, and kickin' is one thing i won't tolerate, unless you want a lickin'! meeeeeeowwwwwwtahere!beware pandora's box... [This message has been edited by pandora (edited 07-03-2001).] |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
hah ahahahahahah   this was quite a read, so glad 'Deer got in his piece, too, no pun intended, honest!!!! didn't read all the comments, but thoroughly enjoyed the ones I read...it seems you've caused quite a stir! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
What a terrific set of responses - I especially like that lil Pandora's poem - truly worthy of a separate topic, yet she dedicated to me. Thanks, ya lil kitty. |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Well, um, it's DIFFERENT..  Yep, well done..And I like yours too Pandora! Lynne “One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..” |
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