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Open Poetry #14
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Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597


0 posted 2001-07-02 02:58 PM



A Weakness


A weakness you would share
is felt otherwhere
though aired with reticence
still seeks exigence

A warm hand extended
is well intended
though chilled by distance
still grips insistence

A shadow in dusky hue
is there to be with you
though unseen percipience
still is in persistence

              
                

"As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it."     Wendell Berry


© Copyright 2001 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-02 03:33 PM


appear to be a preponderance of "ances"  (smiling)

I enoyed the language and the form..nice work and nicely told...



VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-07-02 04:02 PM


I like to see people playing with language, it kind of reinforces my permission to do so, too.  Enjoyed the sounds of the words as well as their use.
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-07-02 04:05 PM


Nice flow and repetition, Krawdad.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
4 posted 2001-07-03 04:02 AM


the hand of a friend
unlimited warmth given
never knows any chill
helen

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