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Open Poetry #14
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esclandre
Member
since 2001-06-11
Posts 62
Northern California

0 posted 2001-07-02 01:57 PM


Pieces of Tomorrow
©Esclandre Allain

concrete oceans heave glances at the weekend,
dancing waves of steeled cocoons into the
naked pits of a transparent horizon.

disconnected crevices collide with heady intentions;
worker ants racing on four eclipsed goals,
one circular statement at a time.
confined by webs of disillusionment
they inhale only the fumes of progress and the lack
of tranquility (eclipsed by unlikely ambition).

at one hundred decibels plus -
bitter logic plies the airwaves, rendering
a cadence of placation at fifty-five miles a career
to subsume the urge to cancel a neighbor’s dreams
with fenders of frustration.
while heads bob on the dashboard of distance,
fingers pluck the strings of a work-day burden
that repeats five times eight times a lifetime spent.

frozen motion:
hurry up and wait in line for the next available gap,
then slip into that niche of anonymity before
the next angry patron of the highway god
claims their identity across the white-dashed borders;
territorial boundaries
demarked by impatience, aggravation, and angry gestures.
voices rage at success,
but just to hear the clamor
over the weight of depressive exhaust.

a communal gathering with no sense of unity,
the road to success is paved with the defeat
of peace and family forsaken
for a piece of a tomorrow no one can own.

[This message has been edited by esclandre (edited 07-02-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Esclandre Allain - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-02 01:58 PM


at one hundred decibels plus -
bitter logic plies the airwaves, rendering
a cadence of placation at fifty-five miles a lifetime
to subsume the urge to cancel a neighbor’s dreams
with fenders of frustration.
while heads bob on the dashboard of distance,
fingers pluck the strings of a work-day burden
that repeats five times eight times a lifetime spent.
loved this passage...

enjoyed it all.....



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-07-02 02:17 PM


they inhale only the fumes of progress and the lack
of tranquility (eclipsed by unlikely ambition).


And that's just a small piece of what I liked.   I enjoyed it all too. I sometimes think I would be very happy living a more pastoral lifestyle. Sort of medieval like, but with electricity and bathroom facilities..lol..

But love the intensity of this...captured that frantic race to nowhere perfectly!

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
3 posted 2001-07-02 02:28 PM


An intense read, something to come back to, again, and again, just to see the picture change each time....
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-07-02 04:18 PM


I like this one very much.  You have a very original style, Esclandre.  Nice write.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
5 posted 2001-07-02 04:50 PM


I like this also. S0 many things to think about, the way the world is changing.
Sandra

esclandre
Member
since 2001-06-11
Posts 62
Northern California
6 posted 2001-07-03 06:26 PM


thank you everyone for your comments... i HATE traffic - word to the wise... if you're thinking about taking a job that requires you to commute... don't.

Esclandre

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-07-03 07:30 PM


I like this. . . it's different. . . and I'm lucky enough to walk to work every day so I don't have to deal with this. . .  

excellent work. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
8 posted 2001-07-03 09:08 PM


Excellent write, esclandre...great descriptions!  Love it!

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2001-07-04 11:03 AM


welcome to passions enjoy
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