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Open Poetry #14
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2001-06-29 09:51 AM



What whispered echoes
dance among these walls,
precipitous and jagged,
so that even screams
become broken
muffled measures
of indistinct reason?

Do these words
you speak softly
fall on deaf ears
and hardened
mind?

I fear...
even soft edged thoughts
will break into
shards...
fragile sharp
that slice
a tender heart.

© Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2001-06-29 09:58 AM


Sir, you did not tell the ladies to walk in carefully before they faced the mirror of their souls...

This is a very well done, and profound, piece.  Thank you.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
2 posted 2001-06-29 10:07 AM



Wow - this hits hard, very well expressed!

Take care,
Melissa~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-06-29 10:10 AM


Great poem...

               "I fear...
                even soft edged thoughts
                will break into
                shards...
                fragile sharp
                that slice
                a tender heart. "

That's very clever writing!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-06-29 10:17 AM


What whispered echoes
dance among these walls,
precipitous and jagged,
===================
I fear...
even soft edged thoughts
will break into
shards...
fragile sharp
that slice
a tender heart.
===============================

this is a very cool piece...
succinct and sharp
stark vivid imagery contrasted with the emote
I really like the edge this one has on it.
impressive write
well done poet sir
jm

We're all feeding our lonely like it might go away,
Like the doors of heaven will swing wide open if we just find the right words to say.
~E. McCain

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2001-06-29 10:37 AM


I do think I've experienced times like this...when it just won't matter what is said, it will seem wrong and it will hurt like falling on sharp edges.

Well done! Very powerful!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2001-06-29 10:47 AM


lady... We face the mirror each and every time we look inside someone words do we not?
I thank you sincerly for the comments.

Melissa: Thank you...

Et... I do not believe anyone has ever accused me of clever writing before.. I now have no idea how I will ever be "clever" again...and must I fear..put down my pen..

(grinning)
Thank you... coming from you it is high praise..

Janet.. thank you! Glad you enjoyed... it was written some time ago and it spoke what I felt.

VAS.. Kind of you to drop by and read. Glad you found it in some way relevant.

Thanks to all of YOU!!!

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