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Open Poetry #14
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2001-06-28 01:20 PM



Shards of reality ,
Broken from the day to day,
knife edged and cold,
slice delicate dreams

[There is no escape…
Angular surreal shadows
cover the exit sign.]

Find more clay
And spin the wheel ,
Again…

Squeeze the cut,
To capture the flow,
And mix it in the glaze


[There is no way out…
Sharp corners turn
On themselves
Hiding the door.]

Fuel  the Kiln
To fire the pot,
The vessel must be strong.
Remember now what went before
And all that could go wrong.

Let it cool
and temper well.
it must not fail
to hold the ashes.

[There’s no way out…
No egress allowed!]

© Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

1 posted 2001-06-28 01:22 PM


Well, you took me from clay pots and potters to urns of ashes holding life's past...

Excellent!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 2001-06-28 01:24 PM


I really like the way this flows from one angle into the next.  The metaphor (for regret?) is really neat.  The mending part is right on the spot.
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2001-06-28 02:05 PM


Today I have a case of terminal dumb.  I will reread this until I completely understand it.  I will be a fine task since I cannot expire until I understand it thoroughly, and that shouldn't take more than 200-300 years, by which time I will be well seasoned and very wise
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-06-28 02:14 PM


Deca: Thanks for the ind words and glad you liked...
Long john; Perceptive reading... and always appreciated when another looks at what you have written and sees in part what you intended..

Interloper.. You Dumb??? Not likely... nor likely it would take anyone that long to see all that is written here... the images of course are obvious..the meanings can be taken on several levels ( I hope) Our experiences and emtions are like pots..that can be broken by reality into sharp shards which cut us and make us bleed.. we mend or build new ones...but inside that all is the feelings of mortality and our seeking to escape a cycle we seem unable to find an exit for... NOW...I have not told you everything...but I hope it help you wo understand what it is supposed to say a little better ( like you needed it..and like I didn't just get my leg pulled)

Thanks for the comments folks!!!


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
5 posted 2001-06-28 03:09 PM


Chuckling about your comment above! :-)  Enjoyed reading, Captian, truly thought provoking!

excellent!

~Tier

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2001-06-28 03:17 PM


This makes me think of how,
"He's Still Workin' on Me"
the song about asking people
be patient because God's not
finished with me yet.

We begin as clay and life,
its trials, fires us,
its joys, cool us
and in the end, the ashes remain
and we go on, our spirits to gain.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2001-06-28 03:18 PM


RT.. you laughing at me??? ( with most serious of looks) GOOD!!! You need to laugh... nice to see you around... and thanks for the comment

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2001-06-28 03:26 PM


Boy did you work those metaphors, and I enjoyed this so much into the library you go! Thanks for a very enjoyable read.

"Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself."
~ Hopi ~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2001-06-28 04:36 PM


I enjoy the underlying theme of strength and renewal--or maybe I'm just taking what I need from this! But the metaphor of mixing blood from wounds to make something shiny again--superb!
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