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Open Poetry #14
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A lifetime of a bubble and beyond.....
| Open Poetry #14 |
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A lifetime of a bubble and beyond..... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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did you ever notice how extraordinary it is, the eagerness a soap bubble displays to rise up, from the ground of the bowl where it was born a few moments ago, to elevate self, from the depths to the top fighting pushing against applied pressure by the surface that, like the sky above our heads, thrusts downwards? all the effort then seems to be a waste when the bubble explodes on reaching summit as if vanishing in the so termed 'thin' air! but, maybe, just maybe, the bubble has changed forms and is flying free in its outer space seeking a proverbial breakthrough? (*!°) "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sudhir! This is wonderful! I love the thoughts behind this.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I love thiss... the thoughts and images are so well presented.... Only thing I might suggest..and I do this reluctantly... is the ending. rather than flying free in its outer space.. it has changed form and is now free having made a break through. Just a thought... as it reads and stands wonderfully as it is... |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
What a wonderful work filled with brilliant word pictures and an element of profound thought  |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Sudsy, I really enjoyed the many levels this could be so interpreted, from the simple description of a soap bubble, with the accompanied idle, childlike pleasure of watching; to the apogee of life, struggling and rising from the earth (bowl), fighting adversity all the way, to finally escape into a higher plane of being. The physical, spiritual, mental, and philosophical aspects of this poem make reading a great pleasure, not to mention the simplistic imagery of the childhood joy of making bubbles. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
yes I love the beyond of the bubble too...makes one wonder doesn't it *s ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
well, someone is going to town on the free verse and doing a wonderful job with it! I love the way this flowed down the page! "This rose has seen red, I have been blue |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sir Sudhir, what a brilliant thought! I can see that happening! A slow rise and then,,,KAZAAM!!!Faster than the eye can see...blastoff! a wonderful idea for a poem, sir |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Wonderful thoughts, my friend. Perhaps the bubble is indeed seeking escape from this world and searching for the beyond. Great concept. This one just flowed right down the page. You have much talent. All writing comes |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
And returns to the cosmos, to be reentered in different forms..very nicely done..smiles |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Karilea, thank you so much, for your kindness there is a flame in every kind heart that wants to come out and spread much needed warmth and it is in this warmth that one finds peace forever thanking the fact of knowing the keeper of such a warm kindred spirit Cpat, I thank you for your visit and for your fair suggestions; they are always welcome. How about this: but, maybe, just maybe, the bubble has changed its form and is flying free in its outer space having made breakthrough? Interloper, what a beautiful response. Thank you very much. Alicat, I am all smiles at the levels of interpretations that you went through and glad that you could make them out. Thanks a lot! Wynter, it sure does, thank you so much Kathleen, and I love the way you follow this jumping man all around town and read all that I write, responding with such enthusiasm and kindness. Thank you O Sir Balladeer, feels like a star trek take off, does it not? Thank you for such kind words... I am honoured Lone Wolf, my friend, you have such a lovely heart. Thanks... Logan, thanks for coming by and for the smiles... Regards to all, Sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sudhir... yes I personally like that ending better.. but as the poet..you should decide which you prefer... as I said before. The original was very good. So glad I did not offend with my suggestion... Ron |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sudhir, Good thoughts, good words, interesting poem. Enjoyed |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Ron, I think I will choose to use the second one... and thank you for your suggestion.. they are always welcome... Seymour, I thank you for your kindness... your word really mean a lot to me... Regards to all, Sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
only you Sudhir could write a poem like this. . . such a unique and interesting view. . . I like it!!! ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Sudhir, Such an ordinary thing to write about and yet somehow turn it into something quite extraordinary to read. Just wonderful, sir. Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well blow me down with a thistle Suddy! You get to have one of these: WOW I mean it. Refreshing, original thoughts - I see you've already been critiqued so I'll leave ya alone...  Well done my friend!  KI am a refugee of logic...insisting on unlikely land with every step. [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-25-2001).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Sir Sven, thank you very much... your words mean a lot Michael, the extra bit is in the eye or the reader, I think ... thanks for seeing Kamla, now I am amongst the clouds... you are very kind, thank you loads, my friend Regards, Sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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