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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-06-21 11:46 AM


did you ever notice
how extraordinary it is,
the eagerness
a soap bubble displays
to rise up,
from the ground
of the bowl
where it was born
a few moments ago,
to elevate self,
from the depths
to the top
fighting
pushing against
applied pressure
by the surface
that, like the sky
above our heads,
thrusts downwards?

all the effort
then seems to be a waste
when the bubble explodes
on reaching summit
as if vanishing in
the so termed 'thin' air!

but, maybe, just maybe,
the bubble has
changed forms
and is flying free
in its outer space
seeking
a proverbial
breakthrough?

(*!°)

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-06-21 11:47 AM


Sudhir! This is wonderful!  I love the thoughts behind this....
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-06-21 12:35 PM


I love thiss... the thoughts and images are so well presented....

Only thing I might suggest..and I do this reluctantly... is the ending. rather than flying free in its outer space.. it has changed form and is now free having made a break through.

Just a thought... as it reads and stands wonderfully as it is...


Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2001-06-21 12:55 PM


What a wonderful work filled with brilliant word pictures and an element of profound thought  
Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
4 posted 2001-06-21 03:59 PM


Sudsy, I really enjoyed the many levels this could be so interpreted, from the simple description of a soap bubble, with the accompanied idle, childlike pleasure of watching; to the apogee of life, struggling and rising from the earth (bowl), fighting adversity all the way, to finally escape into a higher plane of being. The physical, spiritual, mental, and philosophical aspects of this poem make reading a great pleasure, not to mention the simplistic imagery of the childhood joy of making bubbles.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2001-06-21 05:31 PM


yes I love the beyond of the bubble too...makes one wonder doesn't it *s

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-06-21 07:36 PM


well, someone is going to town on the free verse and doing a wonderful job with it!  I love the way this flowed down the page!

"This rose has seen red, I have been blue
I'm going to Ireland in 2002!" Kathleen.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2001-06-21 09:49 PM


Sir Sudhir, what a brilliant thought! I can see that happening! A slow rise and then,,,KAZAAM!!!Faster than the eye can see...blastoff!  

a wonderful idea for a poem, sir  

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-06-21 09:51 PM


Wonderful thoughts, my friend.  Perhaps the bubble is indeed seeking escape from this world and searching for the beyond.  Great concept.  This one just flowed right down the page.  You have much talent.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
9 posted 2001-06-22 02:06 AM


And returns to the cosmos, to be reentered in different forms..very nicely done..smiles
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2001-06-22 08:44 AM


Karilea, thank you so much, for your kindness

there is a flame
in every kind heart
that wants to come out
and spread
much needed warmth
and it is
in this warmth
that one finds peace
forever thanking
the fact of knowing
the keeper of such
a warm kindred spirit

Cpat, I thank you for your visit and for your fair suggestions; they are always welcome. How about this:

but, maybe, just maybe,
the bubble has
changed its form
and is flying free
in its outer space
having made
breakthrough?

Interloper, what a beautiful response. Thank you very much.

Alicat, I am all smiles at the levels of interpretations that you went through and glad that you could make them out. Thanks a lot!

Wynter, it sure does, thank you so much

Kathleen, and I love the way you follow this jumping man all around town and read all that I write, responding with such enthusiasm and kindness. Thank you

O Sir Balladeer, feels like a star trek take off, does it not? Thank you for such kind words... I am honoured

Lone Wolf, my friend, you have such a lovely heart. Thanks...

Logan, thanks for coming by and for the smiles...

Regards to all,
Sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

11 posted 2001-06-22 10:01 AM


Sudhir... yes I personally like that ending better.. but as the poet..you should decide which you prefer... as I said before. The original was very good. So glad I did not offend with my suggestion...

Ron

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2001-06-22 10:32 AM


Sudhir,
Good thoughts, good words, interesting poem.
Enjoyed

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
13 posted 2001-06-25 03:18 AM


Ron, I think I will choose to use the second one... and thank you for your suggestion.. they are always welcome...


Seymour, I thank you for your kindness... your word really mean a lot to me...

Regards to all,
Sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2001-06-25 07:18 PM


only you Sudhir could write a poem like this. . . such a unique and interesting view. . .

I like it!!!  

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
15 posted 2001-06-25 08:04 PM


Sudhir,

Such an ordinary thing to write about and yet somehow turn it into something quite extraordinary to read.  Just wonderful, sir.  

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the human mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

16 posted 2001-06-25 09:46 PM


Well blow me down with a thistle Suddy! You get to have one of these:

WOW

I mean it. Refreshing, original thoughts - I see you've already been critiqued so I'll leave ya alone...  

Well done my friend!

K


I am a refugee of logic...insisting
on unlikely land with every step.

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-25-2001).]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
17 posted 2001-06-26 05:45 AM


Sir Sven, thank you very much... your words mean a lot

Michael, the extra bit is in the eye or the reader, I think ... thanks for seeing

Kamla, now I am amongst the clouds... you are very kind, thank you loads, my friend

Regards,
Sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

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