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Open Poetry #14
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Walking Away
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Walking Away |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
I’ll never forsake the level of disappearance as we fell... I controlled the contents of ecstasy I longed to express instead of withholding the softly treading peak... I blocked your view when possible, denying the end... the rambling rain served as reminder of high tide diminishing... I recall the shade of our behavior when we connected... I’d memorized the sheen of your skin radiating toward me as I staggered down the conveying sidewalk... I invented suspending phrases, putting off the inescapable... but the ever-redundant verse loomed as notification of the waning moments... I remember the look in your eyes when I had to set out... I’ll never be free of the imprint you branded into me as I halfheartedly proceeded toward my obligation... I held firmly to my half of the dream, pretending it was yours... the faithfully worn necklace hung in apprehension of leaving the saline atmosphere... I’ll keep close the gravity of altitude with which I was familiarized... I’ll never come down from that low-flying cloud you gave me as I attentively rely on your diligence... we’ll hold firmly to the whole dream, achieving that reality... our faithfully worn vows will hang in anticipation of our timeless dwelling among the sheer surroundings... -kh 06/20/01 I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
I thought this was so beautifully written. Take care......Sue Suetang |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Sometimes we have to walk away to be able to advance..nice smooth read..gentle smile |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I recall the shade of our behavior when we connected... I’d memorized the sheen of your skin radiating toward me as I staggered down the conveying sidewalk... I invented suspending phrases, putting off the inescapable... but the ever-redundant verse loomed as notification of the waning moments... I remember the look in your eyes when I had to set out... I’ll never be free of the imprint you branded into me as I halfheartedly proceeded toward my obligation... I held firmly to my half of the dream, pretending it was yours... the faithfully worn necklace hung in apprehension of leaving the saline atmosphere... =============================== this is very clever and unique writing... such fresh and innovative images and phrases to define the emotions.... the word cliche is not in your vast vocabulary... very cool and well written purge here SP I really like the way you wrote this one out...from conception to completion well done poetess verbiage  she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Very good.... by the way..did I say this was very good? Well it is |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Suetang: thanks so much...glad you liked it! Logan: yep...I'm learning that quite well...thanks for reading! JM: hey you...thanks so much for your compliments...you know they mean a lot to me...but, as you know, I do my best to stay away from cliche...not that cliche is always bad, but I don't think I'd be very successful if I used it, hence my staying away from it!!  too much info...thought so...hehe  cpat hair: well thank you so much...I am happy you liked this! sp  I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why |
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