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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2001-06-19 08:13 AM

Rewrite:

Euphoria

She strides a phantoms ecstasy,
A face could lay the moon away.
Eyes that shine like a doe in day
With hair that dulls a dew display.

And this heart in meld well taken.
By a captured mind held in awe.
By an unparalleled rapport
By emanations of adore.

And my body beats her rhythm.
Inebriated by her bind,
Just lost within her heart and mind,
A heart to me without the rind.

She flies to me a dove of love,
Where seconds are eternity.
With wings asserting certainty
Her perfumed scent a guaranty.

Perhaps I overstate the real,
But those in love will know the feel.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-06-19 08:24 AM

Very nice! enjoyed the read!

CD
Member

since 2001-01-27

Posts 101

2 posted 2001-06-19 08:25 AM

Amazingly written. I loved that last 2 lines. Simple yet powerful

Loved it

CD

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2001-06-19 08:35 AM

Capt Hair,
Thanks for the very nice.

CD,
A very pleasing comment. Thank you.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2001-06-19 08:50 AM

Ah yes, my daily dose of Sy-Wys-isms.....

I feel MUCH better now!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-06-19 09:04 AM

And my body beats her rhythm.
Inebriated by her bind,
Just lost within her heart and mind,
A heart to me without the rind.

She flies to me a dove of love,
Where seconds are eternity.
With wings asserting certainty
Her perfumed scent a guaranty.

Perhaps I overstate the real,
But those in love will know the feel.
=======================================

YOU can overstate anything you want when ya do it this darn well....
and we rock to your rhyme's rhythm as well..
And did you know...
there is a raspberry tea called "Euphoria" LOL..really....I wouldnt pull your leg...
(unless ya ask me to) *L*
*winkiewinkie*

me

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2001-06-19 02:04 PM

JM,
You spoil me with your sweet remarks
You read within my words a lark.
You feed me full of milk and honey.
Sometimes I feel a little funny.
But Randy sais you are a butterfly
And I am but a funny moth.
Winkiewinkie Stinky

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