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Open Poetry #14
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2001-06-18 10:53 AM


Rewrite:

The Voyage

Steeped from grieves, as tea from leaves
Thrust by mist of memories lust.
Our wiles hang, on mustang weaves
On the black of omnibus

Devout of drought fear or doubt
Inner right its driving light.
Never will it come about
Till shoal or goal into sight.

There’s a key will come to be
For every try there’s a latch
For every lock there’s a key
For every key there’s a match.

The soul steers this lover’s course
To an end that’s yet be won
For love is a magic force
That melds two souls into one.

I know two souls fill the nest
And it’s only this I quest.


© Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-06-18 10:54 AM


quote:
There’s a key will come to be
For every try there’s a latch
For every lock there’s a key
For every key there’s a match.




Truth!

Wonderful!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2001-06-18 11:05 AM


Thank you Sunshine. *L*
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-06-18 11:25 AM


The soul steers this lover’s course
To an end that’s yet be won
For love is a magic force
That melds two souls into one.

I know two souls fill the nest
And it’s only this I quest.
===============================

Sounds like a sail into serenity on the love boat  
I'll get me waterwings ready *L*
*ww*
me

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
4 posted 2001-06-18 11:27 AM


How wonderfully said...

Regards,
sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-06-18 11:32 AM


JM,
We'll go on Randys back. Winkiewinkie Stinky

Sudhir,
Thanks for the wonderful.

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
6 posted 2001-06-18 11:36 AM




There’s a key will come to be
For every try there’s a latch
For every lock there’s a key
For every key there’s a match.

The soul steers this lover’s course
To an end that’s yet be won
For love is a magic force
That melds two souls into one.

I know two souls fill the nest
And it’s only this I quest.

==========================

and it's only this I quest......

Quite wonderful........deep and eloquent

Thank you
**********************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2001-06-18 11:40 AM


Enchanted,
Thank you for the eloquent.

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2001-06-18 12:17 PM


This is wonderfully penned with such heart.

There are two lines that would be tightened by one less syllable me thinks.  Let me know if you're interested in my humble opinion.  Yes, humble, for your poetry is so broad in its spectrum of message and vocabulary.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2001-06-18 02:27 PM


VAS,
Why not, what lines and thanks for the comment.

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