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Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

0 posted 2001-06-18 08:18 AM

Tell

you ask in your
restlessness

and
I feel you

fidgeting sleep
tapping fingers
one two three
on the desk
taking a sip
perhaps

tell

and I do
like an obedient dog

I’d make a great pet
sigh
now what kind
would I be?
Which would you prefer?
That’s the one
I’d choose
(smile)

now I

tap my fingers
one two three four
but
I go one more
pensive
over you

Angel of Darkness
18/6/01

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 06-18-2001).]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-06-18 08:23 AM

very nicely done!!

strongly written and delivered... excellent use of form and sound to deliver the message..

my favorite by you so far..

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2001-06-18 09:29 AM

Well done, indeed.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

3 posted 2001-06-18 11:39 AM

WOW, Maree...

regards,
sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2001-06-18 01:57 PM

Maree...you could be my pet POET!!!

You are such a minimalist too. Always capture feeling with such few words, and lead us to feel what YOU feel. I've been meaning to ask, what ever happened to poem about the waterfall, eh?

Love ya my sista!!!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

5 posted 2001-06-18 02:16 PM

you are a pet with an O, a poet. Ok that was a bad line. before I go hang my head in shame I will just say wonderfully written poem.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2001-06-18 06:53 PM

indeed, that's the one thing that I've always liked about your writing my friend, is your ability to say so much with so little. . .

this is no exception. . . it's wonderful. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

7 posted 2001-06-18 06:56 PM

enjoy

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

8 posted 2001-06-18 11:28 PM

nice

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