thoughts dreams and answers

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desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

0 posted 2001-06-14 04:26 PM

thoughts of the world that never was
dreams of the world I can create
answers to questions never asked
but still there in the back of your mind
hidden in the shadows where it's hard to find
and you said things that you never dreamed true
yet always wished would be before you like love
but you don't ask a million times for the same word

you see asking a million times is overkill
kind of like going fishing with dynamite
you may catch the fish but the joy slowly dies
and then your left with an empty hole within
it's worse than the most incredulous sin
cause you know that you've thrown it all away
and the bridge cannot be rebuilt by stone
or even with the mists that fall from your eyes

the whole time you sit there the culprit mocks you
and plays with the remains of your sanity
like scrambling eggs on a skillet over open flame
smiling with delight and drooling with desire
thinking of your heart engulfed in the fire
a world that never was with thoughts
created in the world made from dreams
and questions never asked have answers

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. --Soren Kierkegaard

[This message has been edited by desperado (edited 06-14-2001).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-06-14 05:22 PM

"answers to questions never asked
but still there in the back of your mind
hidden in the shadows where it's hard to find"

I love this......wonderful Desperado!

IWithinYou
Junior Member

since 2001-06-14

Posts 21
Within You

2 posted 2001-06-14 08:18 PM

Oh, I did so like that scrambled egg verse. VERY nicely done.

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again."
~Paul Simon~

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-06-03

Posts 661
Tennessee

3 posted 2001-06-14 08:41 PM

This was truly impressive. The last three lines were simply awesome!

Saxoness

Senior Member

since 1999-07-18

Posts 1102
Texas

4 posted 2001-06-19 06:59 PM

Hmm, very introspective poem you have here. I really like the layout, I think it works for the poem, it adds to the slighlty disjointed feel you went for. I like the first stanza most, it seemed to speak to me the most. The last stanza may need a little bit of work, it didn't fit with the flow of the other two stanzas. My best suggestion is instead of making it a separate stanza, try interweaving the thoughts and lines into the first two. Enjoyed the read

"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2001-06-19 09:34 PM

Very thought provoking and philosophical write. I enjoyed it much.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fancy
Member

since 2001-06-05

Posts 189
TN/USA

6 posted 2001-06-20 06:16 PM

..."cause you know that you 've thrown it all away"...a feeling probably most familiar to all...I like this

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