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Open Poetry #14
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Mark
Junior Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 18


0 posted 2001-06-13 10:10 PM


She was perfect
from hair styled and sprayed into
a helmet to survive
any wind
Lipstick filling
the severely drawn lines

I stiffled yawns
through dinner
Watching in almost alarm
as she raised her fork
Silver tines to pierce
tender salad greens
picked at sparingly
to maintain her
size 6 dress

And as the tortured evening passed
my thoughts fell
to a woman glimpsed in the park
laughing in the rain with a child
in faded levis and a smile
that knew
no lines


© Copyright 2001 Mark Hazen - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-06-14 02:31 AM


Mark~ I could see this so well.....wonderfully done!  
Death
Member
since 2001-05-26
Posts 112
Twilight
2 posted 2001-06-14 07:26 AM


Sounds like outings in the park are called for more frequently.

Well said.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-06-14 07:54 AM


Ah.. pretension and layers of formailty or casual open enjoyment... nicely done! I enjoyed this a great deal


Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
4 posted 2001-06-14 09:03 AM


very enjoyable  
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-06-14 09:22 AM


Oooooh I really thought this was great. It makes a lot of sense. Why do people feel the need to be perfect? Honesty and reality are better than fake perfections. Nice job on this.

Jenn

"If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie.. beside you as you dream, if my heart had wings." Faith Hill

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2001-06-14 09:57 AM


Mark--I enjoyed the contrast of looking through your eyes.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
7 posted 2001-06-14 12:13 PM


Oh, reading this was enjoyable...

regards,
sudhir

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
8 posted 2001-06-14 12:59 PM


What a fantastic piece of writing. I enjoy your outlook. Perfection has its price...loneliness...My life is far far from perfect but I am happy and very together with the one I Love..:-)

--------------
You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
and show the world all the love in your heart
Then people are gonna treat

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