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Open Poetry #14
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Her Hair Undone
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Her Hair Undone |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Her Hair Undone Her hair had come undone and now lay across the years like a fragile map It curled darkly around curves of youth whose pale hills rested around it lit with the shimmer from the time when there were bare shoulders Wound tight it had risen and pinned its natural flight against the strength of children’s laughter but still it feathered like fern around the base of a tree and waited freedom There was so much watching to do from so many sides that it was impossible to always be keen and eyes wept it all to tangles some days and nights bewitched it until it blossomed with fire at a touch Now it is unconstrained and weaves with the wind that blows time into dust and ashes knowing that it will outlast forever Her hair had come undone and now lay across the years like a fragile map |
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| © Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I need inspiration and you're doing it! Kathleen Blake |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent my friend. . . this is a fine portrait that you've shown here. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
The repitition of the opening stanza leaves an air of finality to the portrait...as if it shall be drawn no more, for she has also been undone. Is that what I'm supposed to get? |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
 excellent writing  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Her hair had come undone and now lay across the years like a fragile map lit with the shimmer from the time when there were bare shoulders ========================= but still it feathered like fern around the base of a tree and waited freedom and eyes wept it all to tangles some days and nights bewitched it until it blossomed with fire at a touch Now it is unconstrained and weaves with the wind that blows time into dust and ashes knowing that it will outlast forever Her hair had come undone and now lay across the years like a fragile map ================================== OH MAN!!!!!!!!!!! Time after time you do this... It is I who is undone.... "and now lay across the years" "from the time when there were bare shoulders" "and eyes wept it all to tangles" "knowing that it will outlast forever" where do you come up with these phrases and images... absolutely poetic perfection... this is one amazing gift of inspire... your muse is divine...heaven sent.  me |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ What exquisitely lovely expression ~ 'eyes wept it all to tangles some days and nights bewitched it until it blossomed with fire at a touch Now it is unconstrained and weaves with the wind that blows time into dust and ashes knowing that it will outlast forever' What a gift you've shared. I thank you dearest poet. *Hugs* Love you~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mark Junior Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 18 |
Beautiful writing, Martie. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Extremely gratifying, this read....one can see the neck of the lady, graced by soft strands.... this is so lovely.... |
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