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Open Poetry #14
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-06-13 09:17 AM


The tree wears a new skin,
in the ways of the young
and the feeling of the green,
like singing of a song
frivolous in the beat,
basking in early summer heat
and the leaves dance
with a sentimental breeze
swaying,
a step to the left,
a step to the right,
a step back and
a step in front,
stepping and leaning ~
the tilt outlines the body
of the spine in the stem
caught in questionable
tumult
too much.

The evening fades away
taking the evenness of light
along, in steps
two-by-two
and an odd feeling comes back,
with the moon in her full
and the silken milky way
in her own dancing sway,
as a desire to be someone
springs out like a newborn
and the need to mean something
sparkles a rush, and
the passion hits,
making you reel,
and feel drunk and dizzy,
surprising even more,
since you hardly drink wine -
nectar neither!

As the night rolls on,
clouds cover the scenes
and the sky disappears
as the raindrops begin
their sprinkling descent
and the drizzle changes
to a downpour,
as if to sober you up
and pull you down
from the steps of
dream-chasing stairway
pushing you away
from that anticipation called love.

That's when the sun rises
and the birds chirp,
and you wonder,
why the world was so happy,
and you obviously not!

Then you look at the small
things alive, the nest
and the nestling within
and a new hope is born,
and a freshness dawns
with the morning sun
while the mourning seems to have
gone

with the disappearing clouds


© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-06-13 09:24 AM


Very nicely done... good imagery and flow..to a final conclusion which wraps it all together...

enjoyed!

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-06-13 09:25 AM


The need to mean something...such an awakening!  Enjoyed.
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

3 posted 2001-06-13 09:51 AM


I liked this Sudhir....a good use of double entendre....
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2001-06-13 10:20 AM


Sudhir,
There is always hope. Enjoyed the poem.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2001-06-13 11:09 AM


                  "As the night rolls on,
                 clouds cover the scenes
                 and the sky disappears
                 as the raindrops begin
                 their sprinkling descent
                 and the drizzle changes
                 to a downpour,
                 as if to sober you up
                 and pull you down
                 from the steps of
                 dream-chasing stairway
                 pushing you away
                 from that anticipation called love."

Excellent writing Sudhir my poet friend!  Just excellent!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
6 posted 2001-06-13 02:48 PM


very beautiful, Sudhir.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-06-13 07:19 PM


I love this my friend. . .

what a wonderful scene, so beautiful and well conveyed. . . it's well done. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2001-06-13 07:28 PM


This is truly lovely Sudi, especially loved the last few lines, nice closing  

Maree

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
9 posted 2001-06-13 09:56 PM


'Then you look at the small
things alive, the nest
and the nestling within
and a new hope is born,
and a freshness dawns
with the morning sun
while the mourning seems to have
gone

with the disappearing clouds'

Beautiful imagery, Sudhir!  I truly enjoyed this...wonderful message, too!

sp  

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
10 posted 2001-06-13 09:59 PM


and :thunbsup: loved this one
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2001-06-14 12:25 PM


Cpat Hair, thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed...

JLR, meaning is an essence, is it not... thank you

Decaflame, thank you very much, so glad that you liked this one...

Seymour, there is hope, I definitely hope so... thanks a lot

Ethome, my friend, too kind, you are, just too kind... thank you

Brian, thanks for the kind appreciation, my friend...

Sir Sven, thank you for your visit and your kind words...

Maree, I am   back at you, my friend... thanks a lot

Sp, I am glad you enjoyed… and thanks a lot...

Watersign, thank you so much...

Regards to all,
Sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

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