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Open Poetry #14
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Sunshine
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Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-06-12 09:46 PM


                                              Crime of Mind

                            hazed and harried, time leaves one
                                   crazed, as if by stroke of sun,
                                       muddled in a mire of bright,
                                   befuddled in the dark of night

                             reason plays her mind, in, then out,
                                 seasons fly at her then come about
                              harass me not, she thinks, chagrined
                                  en masse, she reflects, then, on him

                              calm comes soon to her heart entire
                               balm then soothes the thunder’s ire


                                                      ~*~



[this was a challenge, but I do not think I met the test]


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 06-13-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
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since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
1 posted 2001-06-12 10:02 PM


K~
Truly wonderful poetry, my friend!  I really liked this
"calm comes soon to her heart entire
balm then soothes the thunder’s ire"

Incredible work, I'm glad I stopped to read!

        ~One of those other K's~  

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2001-06-13 12:04 PM


Hm must be the day I am having but those two lines were my favorite too, great job on this one as usual, getting to expect this now!

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them as tomorrow may never come ~*~

Balladeer
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3 posted 2001-06-13 12:50 PM


we all need that balm at times....nicely penned, Sunshine.
Balladeer
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4 posted 2001-06-13 12:50 PM


we all need that balm at times....nicely penned, Sunshine.
Poeminister
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since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-06-13 01:00 AM



I like the way this rhymes on each end of each line...it works very well.
Nicely done...

Poeminister

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato

Paula Finn
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since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
6 posted 2001-06-13 02:08 AM


Sweet one bright sister of mine
Charisma
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lost in blue pages
7 posted 2001-06-13 07:27 AM


me too that loves these last lines as they are quoted by the others too.

excellent as always.

Charisma

Cpat Hair
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8 posted 2001-06-13 08:27 AM


Not sure what scale you are being graded on...but it passes my enjoyment test...



BrightStar
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since 2001-04-08
Posts 219

9 posted 2001-06-14 12:43 PM


It's a crime I can't write verse like that.  Beautiful.
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