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Open Poetry #14
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-06-12 08:26 PM




secrets of the hanging atmosphere elude this inquisitive individual;
fall into me like the drum propels into the tune...
where did that cloud go...the one I’ve been staring at for the past hour...
I took my eye off of it for but a second...
perhaps, lost in my reverie, I neglected its presentation,
and it sought elsewhere for affection...

mystery of the falling cascades avoid answering my questions...
soak in my essence like the leaf plunges into the rush...
how does the tide emanate...the current I’ve been following for the past day...
I looked beneath its surface for a moment...
perhaps, lost in my reverie, I neglected its presentation,
and it sought elsewhere for affection...

enigma of the flawless gestures escape my deliberate gaze...
rely on my inclinations like the rocks bathe in the inundation...
do I realize the honor...the benefits I’ve been envying all of my life...
I lifted my eyes to the sky for eternity...
perhaps, lost in my reverie, I neglected your presentation,
and I sought elsewhere for affection...

-kh 06/12/01

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-06-12 09:10 PM


this is absolutely amazing......I love it!  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-06-12 10:08 PM


mystery of the falling cascades avoid answering my questions...
soak in my essence like the leaf plunges into the rush...
how does the tide emanate...the current I’ve been following for the past day...
I looked beneath its surface for a moment...
perhaps, lost in my reverie, I neglected its presentation,
and it sought elsewhere for affection...

enigma of the flawless gestures escape my deliberate gaze...
rely on my inclinations like the rocks bathe in the inundation...
do I realize the honor...the benefits I’ve been envying all of my life...

====================================
this is WAAYYY COOL..
love the whole conception of this...
the premise...and the repetative lines worked poetically perfect to help define your intend...
getting deep here girl  
clever use of comparisons and metaphor as well..
and then theres that vocabulary...
you do the "blah blah blah" like Websters child    
well done poetess-verbiage  

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-13-2001).]

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2001-06-13 12:02 PM


An extremely enjoyable read this was, and of course I loved the graphic!

~*~ Remember to tell someone today that you love them as tomorrow may never come ~*~

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2001-06-13 01:18 AM


Beautiful graphic...and lovely poem snowpants...love the last two lines especially..

K

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-06-15 12:23 PM


Snowpants--Beautiful writing.  Enjoyed this very much.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-06-15 06:45 PM


These words are soul food as all of yours are.

"This rose has seen red, I have been blue
I'm going to Ireland in 2002!" Kathleen.

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
7 posted 2001-06-15 07:03 PM


Ahh, Kris, such a wonderful portrayal of what we need to seek at times..Very well done, and an awesome pic to go with it...gentle smile
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
8 posted 2001-06-18 06:59 PM


SEA:  thank you...happy you liked it!  

JM:  deep, eh?   ...interesting...but, thank you, girlie, for your compliments...glad you liked this one, too!  sorta took on a life of its own after the first stanza...

Mysteria:  thanks so much!  I'm glad you enjoyed!  I couldn't pass up writing something with this pic!  

Severn:  thanks...glad you liked this!  

Poeminster:  thanks so much...glad you enjoyed!  

Kathleen:  well, thank you, my friend, for your compliments!  glad you liked!  

Logan:  thank you, my friend, for your faithful replies...I'm happy you enjoyed it!  

sp  

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

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