navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » porous pieces
Open Poetry #14
Post A Reply Post New Topic porous pieces Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-06-09 02:06 AM



take me now in transmute gold
all my fingers splayed can't hold
a single second's ticking time
all my thought a nagging rhyme
every beat I feel in head
another nail in coffin's dead
and all my flesh become too weak
watermelon in the heat
melting thoughts of flies abuzz
whisper lies and sing of love
every pore become too bold
within the blanket of sun's fold
porous pieces parts of me
expanding single eye of three
porous pieces parts of you
shatters eye to make it two.
porous pieces two eyes see...
all the parts make one of me.


© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-06-09 02:12 AM


Well Celeste I read this twice and I don't know whether you're talking about dying or just the ruination of your heart from a love gone bad to the extent that you're are stolidly yourself and no one else...whatever the case it's most interesting writing and I really enjoyed the read!
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
2 posted 2001-06-09 02:37 AM


serenity, you are one of the most desirable writers here..... or maybe its the pic... I don't know... after reading your work I often whisper to myself I want her...  
Of course I say that to alot of the fem poets here.   ..... Ok, so after reading this piece I want you.  
Damn, I hate female poets.....  

Parker

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2001-06-09 03:25 AM


ethome? you know already...

parker? "Parker??? HEY!!! PARKER!!!!"

love ya both...sigh...

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
4 posted 2001-06-09 05:07 PM


a bad word comes to mind "Abstract"

the first part in full of some interesting cryptic images but the second half is fully direct and powerful. Take care, hugs. Enjoyed the read.
porous pieces parts of me
expanding single eye of three
porous pieces parts of you
shatters eye to make it two.
porous pieces two eyes see...
all the parts make one of me.


"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2001-06-09 05:14 PM


Whew, such a beautifully passionate poem of engulfing desires! (sigh) I know these feelings all so well, it's like the dreams crawl into the pores of your skin and set your heart aflame with lust and endless searching and contemplating! (sigh) Wow, your poems are always filled with such expertise and understanding of this emotion, I enjoy reading your words all the time! You have such a beautiful heart, dear friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-06-09 06:39 PM


Wow, this was something serenity.  You have a very unique style of writing.  I am enjoying reading it very much.  Great work!  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

redheart angrybraids
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410
honolulu, hawaii
7 posted 2001-06-10 05:12 AM


cast again, my deat lady,
thank you kindly,
as if i where out for the evening

Kindly,
Redheart Angrybraids


angelbear
Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 139
North East, USA
8 posted 2001-06-10 05:17 AM


Wonderful poetry. Also wondered about death or loss of love and figured they are connected in content, so poem can be either or....or something else entirely! Read it three times. Very good!  

I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul,
my only goal
is just to "be"
-Lyrics from RENT

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2001-06-10 07:34 PM


I love this also, many different thoughts on the meaning. Your style always sounds so good, I sometimes lose track of what you were saying in the beautiful flow.
Sandra

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2001-06-10 07:51 PM


you do  make me smile, even when you don't try to ...hugssssss and keep that beautiful chin up

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
11 posted 2001-06-10 08:13 PM


this is truely excellent as all of yours are
and i enjoy them so  

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2001-06-10 08:15 PM


lots of intense thoughts went into this one, Serenity I can feel it!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #14 » porous pieces

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary