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Open Poetry #14
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Tovi
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168


0 posted 2001-06-08 01:17 PM


Funny, how our soul
always knows truth
No matter the words
rushing in on the outside

Somewhere deep inside
it awakens to be
acknowledged or
ignored
by hearts and minds

That tingling of
uncertainty
when the notes are just a bit
off key
and we swallow it down
or linger on it
to open it with
shakey fingers

Or the complete peace
that sweeps over us when
all is right

A safety or sometimes
a disappointment
The colors are always real
deep inside
of our soul

********This needs a rewrite, some thoughts would be appriciated!  
Thank you!



© Copyright 2001 Tovi Borden - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-06-08 01:25 PM


Lovely poem and the truth is well taken from the words.....
"Somewhere deep inside
  it awakens to be
  acknowledged or
  ignored
  by hearts and minds"

This verse is so true...I really appreciate that kind of reasoning.
This is a poem I wrote about the same thing some time ago.

                               The Truth Of The Matter

                  From the cortex chambers ventriliquists speak
                      with their conscious voices of thought in
                             the soul's quiet palace.
                        They confirm necessities: Amen -
                       and forgiveness, they repair despair,
                   teaching lessons from straw to sticks to bricks.

                      Yet what sad reality, the acceptance of
                           the mediating value of lies,
                         when the truth was never better.
                    Who are they that disguise? body and mind,
                        until they are forced into the open
                         exposed to glib pretentious rote.

                         Yet, all the voices in the palace,
                         ventriloquists of inner thought,
                           remain quantum reminders,
                that from the heart, to the great light that fills the sky,
                 all accept the gift of consciousness - and in the end,
                      it comes down to the truth of the matter.

                                 © Eric True      

Tovi
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168

2 posted 2001-06-08 02:48 PM


I really like that Ethome, thank you for showing it to me.  I'm going to work on this some more and perhaps do a repost.  
Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
3 posted 2001-06-08 10:27 PM


gentle smile, Tovie, there is nothing wrong with that at all, as there is an old saying from where I am from, let the heart or mind say what it wishes, the gut is never wrong.
Truth
New Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 3
Right Before Your Eyes
4 posted 2001-06-09 12:26 PM


truth
   you seek
      help in what
Forgiving or Denial
         Or

      Definition

What help could you need
    defining self
       and all
         beliefs

*********************************************
I see nothing wrong
nor need of help
write on write on
the Bard collapsed saying

Merely, write on


azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
5 posted 2001-06-09 12:30 PM


I must agree with the others Tovi...What your heart feels must be put into words is never in need of help.  This doesn't stop us from changing our own words, but remeber...the words flow from inside you and read perfectly to me!  

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

Tovi
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168

6 posted 2001-06-09 03:14 AM


Logan - Thank you so much.  I think I felt this lacked poetic beauty, that the wording could have been better.  But I very much like your old saying.  You left me with a smile.  Thank you!

Truth - (Your name and my title   )  I think what I was exploring was definition and that everyone has "Truth" deep inside of them if they reach deep enough and trust it?  Are we born owning truth or do we find our own truths on the way?  If that makes any sense?   Thank you for your words....

Azblond - Thank you!  I did feel very uncertain of this one, in attempting to capture what I was trying to.  

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