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Open Poetry #14
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-06-08 01:05 PM


He said it.)
Deep within--
a power failure
of my soul.
(He did it.)
Did it once again.
Instantly, I'm withered, old...
(He broke it.)
So it might stay the same...
(shattered)
chards of love remain.
(He's sorry.)
As he always is...
(broken)
Cupid's arrow missed.

I heave no sob,
whimper no weep...
silent river,
down my cheeks.
So common now,
that I forget,
and wonder why
my face is wet.


*repost* from Voices On The Web archives


© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2001-06-08 01:10 PM


Serenity,
I heave no sob,
whimper no weep...
silent river,
down my cheeks.
So common now,
that I forget,
and wonder why
my face is wet.

Excellent. Sy

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2001-06-08 01:14 PM


That sure sounds like a lot of tears Celeste!  I can hear the silent river. I think everyone hears it once in a lifetime..........This is a very sad poem but really well written!  I caught the feelings in my heart's eye!
Mother_Earth
Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan
3 posted 2001-06-08 01:14 PM


serenity, I have been there and done that but didn't have any idea how to say it.  You have written much emotion into this poem.  Wonderful,  ME
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-06-08 01:14 PM


Agree.. excellent!
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-06-08 01:33 PM


this is one of your best, dear.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-06-08 01:34 PM


love this one
(always have)  
me

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
7 posted 2001-06-08 04:12 PM


OFten a river can cleanse us even if it does come from a painful source. Excellent write and take care.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
8 posted 2001-06-08 06:05 PM


enjoyed
Tovi
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168

9 posted 2001-06-08 07:16 PM


The ending to this, especially, is stunning.  Powerful writing!
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